“If he’s so white, why wasn’t he lined up as quarterback?” -Officer on the scene.

I guess he didn’t think anybody would believe him.

If he was too shellshocked to report it, why didn’t his loving parents?

Can he really identify who was doing the assault? I think he may be a bit confused, poor thing.

If it happened, and his constituents loved him, wouldn't they have reported it, by now?

Yeah, it was my understanding that the appropriate response to an assault is to tell him to suck it up, and stop being such a snowflake.

Assault you say...

“Ordinary people were trying to hold us accountable! Can you imagine?”

Actually, he means rapists.

[wanking motion]

What manner of pretentious, pseudointellectual fuckery...

Truly he is the Wilco of rap.

Whatever their feelings, they are working time-consuming jobs, prodded to do more and more by their bosses, all while being compelled to aggressively recruit more unpaid workers and sell them on the merits of writing for free.

These poor fools. Someone should tell them they already owned Nike.

Yeah but he’s not known for his pace it’s his ball skills that got him the gig 

That was some perfect bullshit. “I don’t want the kid, either, BUT DON’T GET AN ABORTION, YOU SLUT.”

Logically, then, men shouldn’t have sex unless they’re prepared to be fathers. That means abstinence for every guy who doesn’t have $250,000 in the bank.

“By making the choice to have sex, a woman is making a conscious decision to engage in an act that has the natural result of creating a pregnancy”

Seriously though can you imagine the collective scream from men if women genuinely took this advice? I would maybe have had sex once every three years, and now that I’m done having kids I guess my husband is done having sex! Forever! If men have a problem with it they can take it to Scott Lloyd. 

Yeah, The Weather Channel is probably the most watched network among old people after Fox News, that might have a bigger impact than the website they don’t know how to use.