im drinking white wine from a selzer bottle

I am STILL responding to someone from the last thread who is determined to explain why someone might, due to cultural difference, make a mistake like assuming an appetizer menu item called "bacon-wrapped scallops" was a sort of scalloped potato recipe.

I'm guessing yes. Her head has Beetlejuice-like proportions:

a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, my family went on a road trip to new orleans. i was delighted to discover a refreshing and sweet mint flavored drink called a grasshopper on some menus and ordered it a few times. then we went to another restaurant where it wasn't on my menu and i asked the server politely…

Oh my god.

How are they served in a (monogrammed) thermos? Or with saved bread?

obligatory defense of the stupid customer: CoffeeMate has an "Irish coffee" flavor; lady probably didn't know that it existed in an alcoholic form. I don't think the alcoholic Irish Coffees are that popular in general?

you mentioned chris pine and i have a very strong chris pine radar, this is the only purpose of this comment

was i the only one asking "who the fuck is Lonnie Lynn?" tonight

No, she didn't. Solve the problem of Maria OR earn the approval of the eternally gracious Julie Andrews.

I found Glory to be excruciatingly boring.

ok sure, but, why did this need to exist i just want to go to bed

I know! It stole the show and even the jaded hollywood elite looked so excited to get their cute Lego oscars.

I LIKED IT TOO. So there Jezebel editorial staff.

I'm sorry, but there is something very wrong with anyone who wasn't made happy by that performance. It was ridiculous and overthe top and about the best thing on the Oscars.

What show are you watching, because it must not have been the fun and yes, awesome, performance I watched. I could not stop smiling.

Brown was "distraught" over the anniversary of her mother's death on Feb. 11, which fueled her addiction despite attempts at recovery, the source adds.

No it probably smells like baby diarrhea and baby throw up.

False! Roman and Woody don't walk into the bar, because all the patrons are at least 21.