You mean like his base of 4 female coal miners?

While everyone is Googling Jeff Koons, I’d like to express my ongoing glee at the neverending new descriptions of Trump. I want to believe there’s a big whiteboard where The Slot writers keep track of which scrotum comparisons have been used and brainstorm new ones.

Just because Trump wants to pander to his base by using coal miners as his poster children doesn’t mean the rest of us have too. Good.

When I was a boy, Superman (Christopher Reeve) was everything to me. I am so fucking happy that girls today have their Wonder Woman.

I needed to see a woman kicking ass and fighting for justice, but more importantly, I needed to see her achieve it by herself, on her own merits, by being the hero because it’s the right thing to do.

My friend laughed at me because as the trailers came to a close, I put my hands to my face and whispered/pleaded, “please let this movie be good.”

My grandfather was called by his middle name his whole life and didn’t even realize he had another name until he was in his teens. It’s not like people keep their birth certificate framed on their bedroom wall or anything - your name is what people call you.

Seriously, a Broadway Musical entitled “Hating Ted Cruz” would be hilarious!

“I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive. And I saw him dead.”

Oh man, I always liked “pop.” Everyone else has some kind of justification (they were being cheated on, he was in their face, etc.)...Pop was just sick of his gum popping!

hehehe “Used condom in a Gideon bible”

It’s Texas.

“If you’d have been there. If you’d have seen it! I bet you, you would have done the same!”

“It was a murder, but not a crime!”

HE RAN INTO MY KNOIIIFE TEN TIIIIMES

Thank you for introducing me to the word bunglecunt.

He earned a sliver of respect from me when he stood up for his wife and father, and then didn’t endorse Trump at the convention. And then he erased it all plus some when he caved for some unknown reason.

In his recent “Fresh Air” interview Franken described Cruz as “the Dwight Schrute of the Senate”.

Some of my preferred Samantha Bee insults: