Prachi, is this tweet true?

“Theresa May has come out and admitted that little hand holding exercise with Tango earlier this year was because Mr Mighty Man was scared of a 1 degree incline...”

Side note: ‘Federal G’ is my new gangster rap name.

If he really loves the Coast Guard, he could show it by rejecting proposals to continuously cut their budget.

You know, I have zero expectations that Trump’s deal with the Democrats is “the beginning of a new, more presidential Trump” or whatever the hell the press says every time he doesn’t completely shit the bed.

“Our incredible U.S. Coast Guard saved more than 15,000 lives last week with Harvey. Irma could be even tougher. We love our Coast Guard!”

If there’s one silver lining to this Trump presidency, it’s watching Paul Ryan having to eat shit.

Meanwhile, more NYT articles are being published about how Trump is a giant toddler:

Rule #1. Treat others kindly.

Jesus Christ my fellow white people are embarrassing. I just don’t get the constant demand to do whatever you want b/c it’s fun and it feels good at the expensive of other people. And the thing is, you can’t even argue ignorance. People like this woman KNOW and THEY STILL DON’T CARE. I get that it’s painful to own up…

Yes, I wrote this song as a teenager in 2001.

when you say “goofy on purpose” do you mean bad on purpose? I haven’t seen anyone say that it’s too goofy or silly, just that it’s badly made/boring/has a terrible, uncatchy chorus. Like, how are people being “played” by not liking a song? I just can’t see how you can say that unless you’d be willing to say that no…

That chorus is...not what I was expecting.

I really hope she beefs with Beyoncé at some point so Twitter is nothing but venomous bees and snakes. Like Australia.

Aren’t you generally supposed to release a good song for your album’s first single?

I feel like the eclipse might be the perfect opportunity to sneak under my desk and take a nap.

How about a civil war hero like Mary Elizabeth Bowser, who was a free black woman who was a spy for the union, posed as a slave and worked in Jefferson Davis’ household? She was a key figure because she shared confederate military plans/strategy with union military figures. Davis knew there was a leak/spy but never…

My vote is for “Loving Highway” after Mildred and Richard Loving of “Loving v. Virginia” fame. Also “loving highway” has a sort of poetical justice in replacing “that old asshole racist highway.”

Can we not rename the United Daughters of the Confederacy to the Treasonous Baby Girls, or the Little Racist Girls? Or even just Sore Losers?

as this is the internet, i suspect by this time next year we’ll all be driving down Freeway McRoadFace.