I haven’t been a member of any Nazi group since 1980.

Sendejo already has the look of a man who misplaced a few IQ points in his life and he wants to keep that trend going?!

THIS! I once had a realtor try to convince my family to move into a home directly in line with an airport runway.

My favorite part, hands down:

I see some people saying wearing socks & shirts in the pool are gross. In response, I’m just going to throw this out there: big dude in the red hat holding a beer DEFINITELY peed in the pool while this whole thing was going down. Knowing that, I could care less about someone wearing a shirt or socks.

Bf - “Babe, the back door is locked. We’re trapped.”

GOD YES!!! Every time I hear someone say “Ethnic” I picture a grandparent saying “Oriental.” Come on, gramps, if you can learn to use a smartphone, you can learn to not be racist!

I’ve seen people in SF glued to their phones walk right in front of food trucks, moving vans, etc.

Calling all chefs from non-upscale restaurants to chime in. If a waitress asks you to ruin someone’s food, how likely are you to follow through?

Lt. Jack Reynolds said that the San Diego Sheriff’s Department’s decision [to release Iloputaife’s picture] was based on the severity of the crime and the fact that they couldn’t come up with any good leads.

Amen! A 15 yr old boy gets 5 years for $50 stolen sneakers while this girl gets one year for attempting to destroy two people’s future?

Hey Shane, my math isn’t adding up to much thus far. IYO, what’s the monetary value if utilizing this card system to its fullest? (if I spend $20k/year & sans signup bonuses)

Hey Shane, my math isn’t adding up to much thus far. IYO, what’s the monetary value if utilizing this card system to…

THANK YOU! GOD that bugs me when people fervently declare all sedans are 4 doors.

Here’s the location of the accident.

Haha, right?! I would say Trump is smart enough to avoid stiffing not only a powerful lawyer, but one who knows all of his dirty secrets, but it’s Trump so I’m gonna go with he didn’t know he was repaying him.

Everything happens in London, at SCL Group.

When you can’t attend the Neo-nazi rally because you have to work the Neo-nazi rally.

Hi, California here.

United Airlines, I don’t like you, but by God do I respect your boarding procedures.

Louisville is only a 5-hour drive from Chicago. Tell those United employees to rent a mini-van next time!