Every new paragraph starts off way that gives you the urge to import something illegally until you get to the "here's the problem" part and the urge goes away. Nice emotional roller coaster ride, this column and well written as always, Doug.

...those don't look anything like Focus ST wheels.

Yeah, I don't have kids either. I am the first one to roll my eyes at parents whose kids are causing a ruckus and they don't fucking care.

Nope.

Pfft, I am on the mother's side here.

Uggh. How disappointing, your generation is.

just yesterday the FBI said the attack would have beaten 90 percent of companies

Targa it!