When read aloud it almost sounds like William Shatner.

Were the POTUS themed cupcakes carrot and disappointment flavor?

Yeah unfortunately there are only two people in the white house that are literate, they are tasked with reading POTUS his bedtime stories.

How I imagine those grape fruits get launched by McCain.

“No low ball offers, I know what I Half!”

I like to think of it as a nice troll job by Macron.
He pretends to be Trumps buddy for a couple of days and then owns him at the State address, then to add some insult he gives a disease ridden tree to the POTUS. Well played Monsieur! 

My eyes automatically block out anything with the FOX logo on it. Sorry will not subject myself to that drivel and add the incoherent ramblings of Trump my brain might cease to function.

I think you were right the first time, it is Trump saying it after all.

In all fairness it is hard to hear your phone ringing from inside your sound proof booth.

Also they must have run out of wax cause he seems thin.

Idiot endorses Idiot, isn’t this how you ended up with Trump in the first place America?

That is obviously the most affection Don has had since Stormy.

Hopefully he’ll be getting a show and take for the rest of his life.

Noted, didn’t bother to look up the original as I have been listening to Wu-Tang a lot lately and thought it was a nice retort to the OP’s post.

Or why man invented the Fleshlight.

“If you can’t get yo’self a 10, the least you can do is fuck 5 2's”

Jesus fucking Christ “INCEL” are you kidding me!?! Involuntary Celibate... You do realize that when you can’t get a fucking date you can resort to self satisfaction instead of taking peoples lives over your own inadequacy. If you think you are some how cut out of society because you can’t get laid you got some serious…

Portrait MODE! You make your fucking super car video in Portrait MODE?

That is actually the note the exhaust makes, you’ve heard of ventriloquists, this fine young woman is an anustriloquist.