I don’t think I could survive the shame of having even a fake jar of Miracle Whip in my fridge. I’d rather lose my valuables than have that.

Full on casual mode: got HoTS, nothing wrong with that mindset at all.

Your Xbox One has been disabled due to suspected violation of the terms of our non-disclosure agreement. We have also broken your microwave, somehow. You and your whole family will now enter the Party Compliance Submission Position, and our armed Compliance Administrators will be along shortly.

Every mention of Louis CK around here somebody says they’d bang him in a heartbeat. If anybody can think of a female equivalent I’ll buy them lunch.

Working title: The Blade

Glad to see his son choosing not to follow in his father’s footsteps by learning how to read and write.

I’m one of these people, as are many of my friends. I’m not a dealer, nor are any of my friends. We all have regular full time jobs, and we’re not in the business of scamming anyone. In my spare time I go on craigslist, search for cheap vehicles that can I can easily fix and resell for a small profit. In New England…

FACT: Bears eat beets.
Bears.
Beets.
Battlestat Galactica.

#teamnobody

Yeezus, my boyfriend hasn’t faked an asthma attack for me since our honeymoon phase. Time to pull the plug.

But I didn’t forget about it, Kim.

This girl I went to college with faked having cancer! She was horrible but everyone was super forgiving of her horribleness because she “had cancer”.

Kim’s an asshole.

Jeez this happened in my high school too! This girl guilted my guy friend into staying with her by faking she had cancer. She even went away for periods of time calling him from ‘chemo-therapy’. The only reason she got caught is because our school went to have a vigil for her, and they called her parents who were like…

An ex-friend of mine pretended she had cancer. She went to South America and was miraculously cured by a holistic shaman. I haven’t spoken to her, but I forgive her because I think she’s psychotic.

only carefully placed thermite charges could have broken a man's ribs in the manner seen here

Yeah, that joke about the magazine was sarcasm. The lines in the Cracked article you should be concerned about are those last few ones about us not encouraging Jezebel's bullshit anymore by featuring them in articles. That part is not sarcasm. Hope you're still delighted.

In EVE lore, the sounds are simulated in order to provide auditory feedback to the pilot. At least that is how it works for current EVE pilots, I assume a similar reasoning will be used in Valkyrie.