This. This. This. My gawd this. +108095 student loans

If I’m Urban Meyer, I fake a heart attack and duck all responsibility for that abortion of a game plan.

The only way this would have been any better is if he would have mentioned how idiotic it is that he isn’t paid anything.

As a Pat, I am also worthy of suspicion too.

Never start a hot take with “as a Pats fan” - the whole world knows what is coming next.

Lighten up, Francis.

HOT TAKE ALERT!

Fuck Cancer

Because cancer fucking sucks.

60 is so “be grateful for every day we have” young.

This may be the most clueless, laughably incorrect, prisoner of the moment hot take ever made in deadspin history. Someone tell me a post that's worse. You can't. Keep trying.

The best part about this is he’s not even playing Bernie Sanders. He’s just playing Larry David. And it all works!

Probably Bautista, when it drove the ball a country mile through the expectations of each and every Rangers fan.

Luckily you’re known far and wide for your excellent commenting, so there’s that

This better?

I’m a Yankees fan...and goddammit this is fantastic.

I starred this. Then I un-starred it just so I could star it again.

Take that Brian McCann you fat fuck.

Looks like Beamer needs a bro. Or a manziere.

Either way those are definitely low-Beamers.