This is the kind of passion you'd never see in an MLS fan base.

Gotta be on something to think that haircut was a good look.

Here's the "you bailed" video.

Yup. There's the wedding ring.

Captivating story. Now I'm headed over to ESPN to read more unnecessary Lebron headlines.

Good thing it wasn't a spicy chicken. That would have stung her eyes.

Definitely not a jew

Everyone knows Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich is the the way to go here.

Its no worse than an obscenely old person with a deteriorating brain.

You're from Canada you couldn't understand.

Also, Chicago residents need not respond, because what they call pizza is not in fact pizza.

Christ, does he drink strawberry milk too?

I am the house disposal system for uneaten pizza crusts. This helps to explain why I am Hobbit-shaped.

Keep in mind that Drew takes the crusts off his pizza slices. So, don't trust him on anything pizza.

If I had to guess, he's probably asking Blake some advice on his step-back jumper...

I really think he'd do well to cut the "money" signs until he actually produces some NFL-level wins. But of course he won't, because he's an entitled asshole.

the southern drawl is strong with this one

Though that was only for people that actually graduate college on time. aka Nerds.

This is a waste of time— there is nothing happening here

In the clip with Canada, the linebacker should have held contain on the outside instead of going after the pitchwoman. She had help from her interior linewomen.