But he’s a pro at performing in a wheel chair!

Thank you for reminding me why, as a woman, there’s really no other time that I’d like to live in other than the present.

I love funny Hillary. I want more funny Hillary.

I love Between Two Ferns more than any comedy show on YouTube. I started watching it with the Michael Cera one in high school (!!!) and they’ve been a constant ever since. My favorites are the ones with other comedians, like the Steve Carrell one. Its absolutely incredible how funny they are riffing on each other.

I’m reminded that nearly naked, young healthy models were dropping like flies after standing in the heat at Kayne’s show this week. She’s wearing a full freaking suit. It’s hot. She got overheated. Clearly she has a fatal disease and is too ill to serve.

“I regret saying ‘half’—that was wrong,” Clinton said.

I’m just (not at all) stunned that Shaun White is a complete douchebag

This, for me, is the biggest sign that the establishment Republicans are scared shitless.

I have bad news for you: palmetto bugs is just a pretty euphemism for cockroaches.

Actually, she’s a pretty classic small government fiscal conservative.

YES! I mean all the people who dislike her for lying? Have they heard Trump at all? How is it that he can get away with blatantly making shit up, but she is more unlikeable because of it? I think all the people quoted in the article who say they don’t hate her because she is a woman are kidding themselves...

You’d think by now that people would realize, the way you and I obviously do, it’s illegal immigration only when the brown people from that country down there down south do it. Why is this so difficult to understand?

Even if he was an affirmative action admission all it would prove is that affirmative action kicks ass and is worth the investment, because we got Barack Freaking Obama out of it.

I’m pretty sure they do have footage of her with the shotgun — they said the social media content is not deleted and she fired several rounds. Also, I can’t imagine the police waiting out a seven hour standoff if she didn’t have a gun.

I love how you always pretend sexism isn’t real. It’s so charming in a gross, extraordinarily stupid way.

I feel weird for liking Hillary Clinton. I knows it's an unpopular position. She reminds me of my mom in a good way.

Since there is literally no downside to this program, and since it will clearly decrease the need for the abortions that conservatives despise, I look forward to hearing exactly how they will denounce this donation without actually coming out and saying that they think women should be punished for having sex.

In my head Diplo <->Calvin Harris.

I would hit it like a Jeopardy buzzer. Over and over again. I'll take Walk of Shame for 1,000, Alex.

I am laughing at this SO HARD. He is such a douche. He's SUCH a douche. He's probably terrible in bed. I don't even care. I would still hit it like the wrath of God. I'd just make sure he wasn't in a position to speak until well after we were done.