sorry, that is really terrible. I wish I knew why some people are susceptible to it and some aren’t. I really have no ability to respond to the guilt. it just makes me angry and less likely to the the thing they want. I wish that for every kid who has a nightmare parent.

the worst. my dad grew up with a mom who laid on guilt like no one else I know. he would just blame it on typical jewish mom, etc. but he still hated it. But guess who does it now??? Thankfully, it doesn’t work on me the way it worked on him. I think that drives him nuts.

omg, yes!!! my dad constantly whines and complains that we don’t spend time together. I try to dance around it with “we’re just so busy” etc but he pushes and pushes. I’m like dude, you KNOW deep down that I am staying away intentionally. Why are you going to make me say hurtful things to you????

You will do just fine as a parent. We are not guaranteed to repeat our parents mistakes. In fact, many of us specifically make choices that are the opposite.

aw, thanks. she’s great now, 10 years later! well, I mean, for any kid who’s pre-puberty....

that sucks that people gave you shit. I’ve never heard a peep from anyone about my choices as a parent, so I am always shocked that it actually happens in real life. Ridiculous. Oh, and for xmas when my oldest was 5 she asked Santa to bring wine for mommy :)

very, very true a lot of the time.

yes! I see this all the time. harried parents who are a hot mess. For sure our lives are busy, but we try to keep it sane by limiting activities, and even homework. no tutoring (we don’t need it, so that’s lucky-we have friends whose kids also don’t need it but they get it anyway....). time to chill. they don’t get…

but that’s the thing-for us, the first kid was a horrible slog. she had terrible, undiagnosed reflux and it took 2 hours to get her to sleep every time. It was awful. Mind numbing. It also made her in pain, so there was a lot of crying. Not colic level crying, but pretty bad. Lots of nights with no sleep until she…

These shows seem to show miserable people who can barely tolerate their kids’ existence as opposed to people who wanted to have kids and understand the ups and downs of having to care for someone who is not self-sufficient. (And their problems really are unique to a certain socioeconomic class, people who have the…

I know-it makes me sad. I have several friends with autistic kids who have learned to handle it with grace and humor. None of them believe the vaccine nonsense. I think that’s the key difference. They have accepted their children are who they are, she has not. And she hasn’t vaccinated her second kid at all.:(

I never implied I was “over it” so not sure why that’s what you took away. I clearly say that I would attend any wedding I was invited to if I Could attend. But more importantly, people are free to decide how to spend their money. Even if they can afford it, if they want to spend it on something else, that doesn’t…

yeah, and I see you mentioned the relatives, which was really the annoying thing for us. the funniest thing was we decided against a photographer and flowers just because the venue didn’t need it (flowers) and we had a lot of really good family photographers who I knew would get pics. My MIL was so horrified that she…

I guess you could. Some of those weddings were harder to swing, but we could do things like crash in people’s apartments and split hotel rooms for 6 people. That is not happening now. It’s not that I don’t want to go, I really probably can’t. I had a friend really give me a lot of grief about this once and I gave in…

“Late-stage American capitalism has a way of taking otherwise nice things and jacking them up until they’re a grotesque, barely recognizable caricature.”

*started* wigs. the lingo matters, lol.

I’m sorry but that is ridiculous. I get that people have a vision, but you have to consider that you are inviting other people. I REALLY wanted to have our wedding in the Boston Public Garden. It’s gorgeous in summer. But, when we learned that they don’t allow chairs or any refreshments, I realized pretty quickly that…

I think you have a point, but the other side of the coin is that in my 20s, I had a lot more free time and disposable income. I went to weddings all over the country because I could. Now, unless it was a really close friend or close family, I really can’t justify the cost. I can spend hundreds on a dress and shoes or…

i mean, yes and no. we did our level best to have a stress free wedding but the best intentions etc etc. I mean I gave zero fucks about napkins, tablecloths, or cutlery (do we have some? good.) We had a bday cake for my grandma instead of a wedding cake, we skipped all that special dances/bouquet/garter stuff, so the…

these tend to be the best weddings, especially as we get older. the big blowouts were fun when we were in our early 20's, but I found as got older that the huge weddings were usually boring, I knew a lot less people so the “party” atmosphere was lacking, and they lacked any sort of real specialness. Just big fancy…