ME TOO! It’s the happiest I’ve been since the republican convention.

“I said forget debate prep. I mean, give me a break,” Trump said at one point.

“Do you really think that Hillary Clinton is debate-prepping for three or four days. Hillary Clinton is resting, okay?”

I had a season of being a total piece of shit, if you consider 23-26 a season

Seek help.

+1

lol A polite drunk. Can’t ask for anything more.

Livers are a hoax perpetrated by the liberal media. How can something like alcohol which makes me forget so much be so bad?

Grammar jokes. They’re never not old.

Kiefer’s liver wishes that Kiefer would care just a little bit.

If I was paid $150 million to kill someone, I’d be buying a new identity ASAP.

It really doesn’t matter how much her jewelry is valued at though. Robbery is robbery - and I’d be upset for you if someone stole your Casio watch, Bobby. I’m sure it has sentimental value, much like Kim’s engagement ring.

I have an unexplainable soft spot for James Franco, so it’s not even a question for me. Would bang, and then tell everyone I know about it.

Every time these ghost-written books are mentioned from celebs like the Kardashians, someone makes a joke about them being illiterate. The idea that women who trade on their appearance can’t also be literate is an ugly and sexist response. I don’t care who it’s about.

Except people WILL die, and they need to be aware that it really is that serious. I lived in Florida as a teen, and people (not all, but way too many) think every hurricane is a chance to get drunk, go surfing, storm watch, etc. Normal, “please use caution” warnings don’t affect those attitudes. But when you scare…

He chopped a guys head off with a car door on Daredevil. I wouldn’t be messing with his family.

Just did the math — I’ve been disgusted by Sean Penn for six years longer than his new girlfriend has been alive.

Sean Penn has a new, extremely young girlfriend

You know before I moved here I thought the main reason ppl didn’t leave was bc they couldn’t and don’t get me wrong that is a part of it, but now that I’ve been through it... it’s hard emotionally to leave. Until 4PM yesterday I was going to ride it out with no shutters/hurricane windows and two sliding glass doors.…

He said those things because they work.