I’m not buying Cruise for the same reason I’m not buying Hanks. The dude that raped Haim seems like he would have been someone in power for awhile before they crossed paths with him.

I can’t either, because even if I *wanted* to believe that America’s Sweetheart Tom Hanks was a monster, the timeline doesn’t work at all. This guy would have had to have had major power when Haim was a kid and that doesn’t really work. He was a star, but he was just coming into it at the same time Haim was. The…

I’m pretty sure that’s what is happening. Her caption kind of indicates he’s being all conservative Dad on her. The picture looks super weird, but I think that’s just an unfortunate side effect of everybody expecting the worst in people. A different angle might have helped a bit.

I have been down so many roads in the internet where I made a joke and thought that we were doing a sarcastic bit back and forth only to find that the person I’m talking to is actually furious with me. More than a few times I’ve said the words, “wait...are we fighting?” on a message board somewhere. The internet is a…

I had to google too! She looks sooooo young in those photos, but I’m hoping they know what they’re doing and it’ll work. She’s at that age where, by the time they start production, the could look totally different soon. Ten year old me is dying to see who they cast as Calvin because that was my ship when I was a kid.

Not only that, but we’re apparently super pissed at Lena for projecting thoughts onto him, but we’re all so certain that his “I don’t know her” comment is laced with subtext and he totes took that bitch down a peg. Her initial story was dumb, but I don’t see why it’s a crime when she does it, but we can claim we know…

But, I wasn’t speaking of her intentions, I was speaking of theirs. Two things can be true. It’s not overthinking it to look at the roast template and determine why each person was on that dais.

And after I posted that, I’m not really sure why I threw Maria in the conservative category since she’s a moderate liberal, but whatever. You stay married to Arnold that long, you get that Republican stink on you.

There was an establishing shot that was just power lines, a vague outline of a skyscraper and lightning in the sky and it was just so Atlanta. Like, if I didn’t know that the show was shot in and about Atlanta I would still *feel* Atlanta, just outside of downtown, based on that two second moment. It was weird.

Because they needed an outspoken conservative and all of Rob Lowe’s actual conservative friends are either too famous (Arnold) or more comfortable being in the audience (Maria). Plus, you know, most of the time the non-comics wind up killing and that’s good for everybody involved. If she’d just let her joke writers do…

Jewel has crazy good timing.

The prostitute joke was one of the moments I noticed that it seemed like Jeff Ross was trying pretty hard to get her to loosen up/actually enjoy it the way everyone else was. He kept looking back at her and gesturing to her and it didn’t seem at all like he was being an asshole. It’s in his best interest to have her…

I hated that one. There were a few jokes I hated, but they were spread out pretty evenly amongst targets, I thought.

Of course you shouldn’t take cheap shots like that in real life. There are far better things to criticize Trump and Coulter for in a legitimate argument. But, this is a roast. Cheap shots are where the money’s at. It’s a mix of brutally deep cuts and the cheapest of cheap. Peyton’s giant head. Pete Davidson looks like…

Maybe the supercut left some things out. I have no idea. I know that Rob Lowe had a pretty good one about how this was one bomb she couldn’t blame on Muslims. He also called her set an abortion, which actually kind of shocked me and was a decently constructed joke. A couple others made Klan jokes. Jewel had a funny…

Many of them have. Her SNL cast mates and writers have been tweeting support.

Paul Feig did. A lot of the SNL cast and writers did, but I don’t believe Kate McKinnon (or Wiig, for that matter) is on social media and most of these acts of support are happening on twitter.

While I’m not trying to blame the victims, if we’re talking about what’s wrong with people... why do so many celebs seem to have nude photos of themselves? And if there was a particularly good reason, wouldn’t you see to it that the photo is deleted afterwards?

While I’m not trying to blame the victims, if we’re talking about what’s wrong with people... why do so many celebs seem to have nude photos of themselves? And if there was a particularly good reason, wouldn’t you see to it that the photo is deleted afterwards?

The bright side is that I’m pretty sure they tagged on about 300 extra calories to that total. Even the junkiest version of a Happy Meal clocks in at less than 600 calories. Unless you’re a parent that upgrades to a large soda and tells them extra fries instead of apples, you’re not buying your kid an 840 calorie…