I've had pets my whole life, and still haven't hit on the magic formula. Some of my experiences: — This goes without saying, but have a GOOD vet that you trust. So many people just half-assedly accept whoever's closest or cheapest. I've seen this cost lots of money, suffering and lives. – Ask for a blunt…

Yes! Pets are only for the rich!!

I can't joke about this ever since I saw footage of an 8-year-old Malian kid being kidnapped, taken across the border to IC, and sold to work on a cocoa plantation. It's great how suddenly, the cocoa companies have all kinds of resources and control to bring to bear on this issue, but "they just can't help" the known,…

My coworker leaned over my shoulder once while I was on break, looked at me shopping for shoes on DSW, pointed to a pair and said, "Those. If you come in here wearing those, I might lose control of myself." This from a married 300-pounder. I grilled him over what that meant until he was about to die of awkwardness.…

The punchline is where he ends it, "do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers."

The media and the players both are so lame about this. Media's doing a better job defending than, well, the defense did. (nice leisurely jogging, boys, btw) Meanwhile one of the players said "if we had been down 2-1 and come back with a last-second goal, everybody would be thrilled. The result is the same, so people…

That's not true... I went there TRYING to buy a Canadian diamond, and the manager told me there's no way to know. 20% of their diamonds are Canadian, the rest are who-knows-what and they intentionally don't know which is which (or at least they aren't saying) because it would make the rest of the diamonds look like…

I love how "Mild" injuries include liver lacerations, hip dislocations and broken teeth, and "moderate" injuries include seizure disorders, broken necks, multiple facial fractures and kidney damage. Way to cook the numbers.

Way to hide My Big Fat Teen Pregnancy!

Slutty Ariel is my favorite Prom costume!

Slutty Ariel is my favorite Prom costume!

Is NYT getting money for product placement now?

I'm inventing a Sochi-themed cocktail.

Sorry man, but you shoot your own argument with the picture of the weather forecast. It plainly says "lower snowfall predicted due to increased ice accumulation." As for Atlanta, still less excuse, because by 3:40am Tuesday morning the NWS had issued a Defcon-1-style Winter Storm Warning advising up to three inches…