Dammit Gary.

Running for president isn’t a barroom trivia contest. That said, I expect political candidates to at least have a grasp of global issues. Johnson is incompetent and Stein is a looney tune and that’s why this Green is voting Clinton. It wouldn’t matter if I voted for Vermin Supreme in my state, but I feel she’s the…

Did someone say, “rando dipshit former governor who hoped to swindle some sweet donor cash and get a small Q rating bum...?”

This the guy many Bernie supporters are leaning towards now? He is basically the inverse-Bernie.

I think, while we may have a variety of opinions regarding the legalization and use of marijuana, we can all agree it’s a really poor decision to be HIGH AS BALLS WHILE CAMPAIGNING.

Except everyone can name a foreign leader trump admires.

Whereas Hillary could not only name every single sitting world leader, she could tell you what they had for breakfast, the name of their first pet, and what color underwear they’re wearing right now.*

This guy smokes so much weed...

Reporter: “So Derrick are you comfortable with the strategy of using Jane Doe’s sexual past as a defense in this case?”

I love Michelle, but don’t get this sentiment.

because she has no political experience, doesn’t talk about controversial stuff, and has expressed no desire to run for political office? Maybe you’d rather vote for Michelle than Hillary because Hillary’s been subjected to remorseless criticism from the left AND right for decades...?

Right, what the unreformed Naderites claim that Gore was not sufficiently liberal to earn their votes. And then I’m saying that had he shifted sufficiently left to pick up the Naderites, it is conceivable that he would have lost even more votes from the right end of his base.

Right? Like, if you really cared about third parties, you’d actually be voting for them in off years and at the local and state levels. But, no, you use them as a cudgel against the major parties in presidential years because you have to be fucking coddled, because you have the emotional maturity of a five year old.

I think we’re operating from a “Not Helping = Hurting” framework. It’s aimed at lefty voters who think they’re executing some sort of electoral jiu-jitsu blackmail by threatening to withhold their vote, even though the votes of centrists who flip sides are worth twice as much (two point swing). And while we’re on…

Well, there was THIS...

I cringed at this. And, not because it’s not true, but because my generation of special little snowflakes does not want to hear this message. It will not be well-received.

Those same people who love to whine about the Electoral College (“but whyyyy can’t it just be one person, one vote”) lean heavily on its existence to allow them to vote with their precious consciences instead of their fucking brains.

Not a chance for me; I’m okay with Clinton, she’s infinitely preferable to Trump, and I realize that neither Stein nor Johnson have a chance of winning (and I don’t know enough about Johnson to know if I find him preferable to Clinton). However, I do the the sense that some of Sanders’ supporters are refusing to vote…

Jesus, please don't do that.