The other 60% is consumed by Ted Cruz.

My god, the same woman was responsible for Greenbean Casserole AND Tuna Noodle Casserole.  Did she die of getting splashed with Holy Water because this shit is not of the Lord.

Of course this woman’s also responsible for tuna noodle casserole. The Midwest loves food that closely resembles vomit. Other loves include waterparks, racism, and anti-semitism. (sources: having lived there for three years; this article)

I’m from GBC territory, and there is no day of the year I am happier to not be there anymore than on voting day and on Thanksgiving.

And let’s not forget how bad the attendance numbers look once you account for the fact that Philip Rivers’ family is responsible for filling half of the seats.

I calculated it out and he was ran about 13-13.5 miles per hour which is roughly a 4:30 mile. That dude a fast fat guy. 

There’s a lot of blame going around for the Steelers’ poor start, but so far I haven’t seen too many people point their fingers at the most logical culprit: Antonio Brown and James Conner’s awful just-lost-a-fight-with-a-weed-whacker haircuts.

Fuck off. The NFL has no guaranteed contracts and as a result players get fucked weekly. If he wants to walk,  good for him. 

Nice of the team to let Homeless Conor McGregor answer some questions.

I found this headline to be much more trashy and manipulative than a typical Jezebel headline, and was sincerely surprised. Titles like this are why I refuse to read BuzzFeed. So far all my comments have been approved, so if this one isn’t at least we know why.

“I never liked him much anyway.”

#facts  This might pay the mortgage this month, real talk!

Make a few pans of mac & cheese, throw on some collards, fry up some chicken, and turn your crib into a “Repast” pop-up.

This schedule is bananas!!! Bill Clinton has never spoken for only 5 minutes in his life and he’s on the JV team of gasbags speaking. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton get 9 & 5 minutes to speak? Puh-leeze!! This thing could last a couple of days.

Her role in Sideways?

I first knew her on HBO’s Arli$$ with Robert Wuhl, back in the late 90s. She was always smart and funny. Thrilled for her and all her success.

Arif Hasan is both young and one of the best football minds in the business.

Reminds me of my favorite Dad joke.

A well known country DJ posted on his Facebook page that Elvis died today. Someone in the comments mentioned that it was ironic that Aretha Franklin also died today.

Cold beer don’t need no help; I’d like to know how ol’ Jim makes a half-empty can of Steel Reserve that’s been sitting out behind the gas station palatable.