I fucking can't stand soccer.  That car obviously took a dive. 

Dude is fast. He should try track.

After a belaying mistake causes Honnold to fall and get injured, he floats the idea of breaking up with McCandless on the spot. She has to break through his wall and get him to see that he can, in her words “have it all,” while she simultaneously copes with the ever-present possibility of Honnold crashing to the…

Obviously, “Sucka.”
“Jesus Rules Everything Around Me, Sucka.”

Satan.

For sure. If they’re smart, they’ll figure out a way to leverage it. Also, Smith should make a mockery of it by dropping “supreme” as many times as possible during every interview and post-game press conference:

You're smart enough to understand how human biology works but too dumb to understand how language works? What kind of idiot-savant shit is that? It's like people complaining about "near-miss". They're not saying he only grew during summer break. 

Interesting to note the differences between major sports in this country. In the NBA, a wider Barkley lead to diminishing returns.

Always remember, don’t fight to raise everyone up, fight to drag everyone down.

True story - what’s even sadder for that beer vendor is that his job doesn’t even provide enough to allow him to go back to his home in Kansas to visit his father. His dad had to use some of his retirement savings to travel to Landover just to be able to see his boy.

Just when you think OldBeigeGuy has sunk as low as he could go for a bad pun, Helsinki little lower.

You might think the Timberwolves’ dream of turning the franchise around are over, but it’s the Bulls who are really finnished.

This perfectly describes every Haisley article.

This is like a mobius strip of “he’s good, and is actually way better than he has been, but he was supposed to be even better, but he’s actually surprisingly good in his own way, but this isn’t a good fit for him, but he and his team are making the best of it so it’s all good”. I can’t finish this.

no real complaints with the article, but how do you still have a job 

MINE ENDS IN TEARS AS WELL

Seriously. Who among us hasn’t gotten tapped on the head when we’ve gone down in the box?

The cycle of history repeats itself, and the Reds are now owned by a Christian.
It’s like perestroika all over again!

Something to note with the iPhone Upgrade Program that I didnt see mentioned in the article; when you get a new phone under the plan you pay the taxes up front.

It doesn’t take much to trick someone from Arkansas. I used to sell Cheerios there as donut seeds.