Did he get into the Beef-a-Reeno? It wreaks havoc on a horse’s digestion.

My advice to all of them is to start drinking heavily.

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?!

Y'know, I thought I had mono once for an entire year. Turns out I was just really bored.

One of the best endings of a movie, ever, and one that I love to figuratively apply to almost any situation in life.

Jesus fuckin’ Christ.

“Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers.”

His advice: Get a federal permit to kill one of the vultures, then hang it in a tree or other spot where other vultures can see it for miles around.

Shut the fuck up Donnie.

Say what you will about the tenets of plantar fasciitis but at least it's an ethos.

Han shot first?

But he knows a place on the edge of the red light district where we can lay low. But his hands are all messed up, so you better drive, brother.

No, not Utica, no. It’s more of an Albany expression.

As rundown as Utica may be, they still know how to make a mean steamed ham. 

Really, you just need to look at his background to see where this stuff comes from:

See if you can guess what I am now

Ya Gotta Bereave!

Look at this fucking guy.