when my dad waved away his cigarette smoke and asked, incredulously, can you believe I’ve got lung cancer??? I replied, no. you, sir, are a medical mystery.
we had a good laugh.
he’s dead now.

and WHATEVER ARYA’S WOLF IS CALLED. 

uh, hello? Professor Snape is dead. I call shenanigans on this entire list.

“One of the buildings affected was a breeding facility for Burmese pythons, and many of them escaped.”
Why ON EARTH was there a breeding facility for Burmese pythons in Florida??? They are not endangered, nor even threatened. People seriously are the worst.

Double Happiness is also worth checking out

weirdly I find Gilbert to be incredibly endearing in interviews, on her TED talk, etc.  and her short travel essays are a hoot.  but damn is she grating on social media.  jeebus.

“remember that he’s cranking out a fresh 7-10 every day.....If you watch any late night show, 90 percent of the monologues are predictable and somewhat hacky.”

My exuberant nephew nearly knocked my tooth out with his giant head.  Had my insurance not covered the bulk of it, damn straight I’d have gone after his parents’ homeowners plan.  It happens all the damn time.  Worst part?  Her lawsuit was denied.  All that humiliation, and she’s still in the hole for tens of…

yet another reminder that Tig is just THE BEST.

Not to nitpick, but it’s been two decades of shame for Ms. Lewinsky.  That is still two damn decades too many, but facts do matter, Jez.

Yeah the concussion part jumped out at me, too. Head injuries are no joke, and the medical community is exploring the link between concussion and suicide:

The SF Gate also mentions the concussion she suffered, and the headaches and sensitivity to light that ensued. Head injuries are no joke, and the medical community is exploring the link between concussion and suicide:

....except that Sanchez is his wife’s age, and her relative hotness is in question.

I was on a middle seat next to a very large man who was clearly uncomfortable with the armrest digging into him. As a then-kinda-skinny person, it was no big deal for me to ask him if he’d like to raise the armrest. He was so relieved, and I suddenly had a warm full-body pillow to lean on for the entirety of that…

When I was 25, I was being actively courted by a 42-year-old. Over dinner, he told me that his friend’s mom, in her mid-fifties, had hit on him. “Wow,” I replied. “She’s like fifteen years older than you.” “I know, right??” he said, with barely-contained horror. I just sat there silently until he got it. I swear it…

puts me in the mind of yogurt and pap smears.

alternate reply:  join the klub!

The Amish corner the market on puppy mills, so their niceness is already suspect.  

I have yet to hear of a football player sending thousands of troops on a fool’s errand.

he should’ve put a sock ON it.

I could not read past this sentence.