my pals and I spend so much time making up Tyra Mean Compliments that we’ve forgotten how to give a sincere one.

what must it be like to know that, every time you leave the room, your boss tells your male coworkers that you’re maybe a three, at best?

a decent parent would’ve taken his autistic son into consideration before thrusting his entire family into the sh*tshow of a presidential campaign and subsequent (though surprising) presidency.

he got Tom Hanks fired from Turner & Hooch.

I worked with NPH on a promo thingy for his short-lived variety show. celebs can be particularly difficult on promo shoots, because they’re obligatory and dull and such a “business” part of the business.

that is a very poorly-made trailer!

ah! gotcha. election season has rendered me an idiot.

I’m surprised he remembered to register.

until he whipped out his harmonica, and fellow line-waiters insisted he go ahead of them.

a woman in my office voted there this morning, and got pushed aside by Trump’s secret service detail. I told her “well, it’s the last time that’ll happen,” and we had a good chuckle.

also: the south.

doesn’t drinking just erase the filter and bring out your true self? like, I get SUPER chatty, as do most of my friends. plus hugging.

her Ask a Mortician series is genius.

the reason behind it is pretty sound, though: vote buying. if somebody offers you $$ to vote a certain way, they’re gonna want proof that you did indeed vote that way.

It’s an I-heart-NY shirt in Russian. The kids live on a farm within kicking distance of several horses, and I think it was their hazing at Gabby’s that’s keeping them on their toes and safe! For all of the dangers, they’re having a pretty awesome childhood.

what’s hilarious about my mom’s house is that it’s 10 miles from my sister, and she is often called on to babysit.

in Gabby’s defense, her grandson really loves to garden now.

my sister’s kids (a girl and a special-needs boy) have full run of their 10-acre farm and beyond. they climb trees, wade in the pond, ride horses, and get filthy. last weekend they took me on a bike-riding adventure through the woods to the “haunted house” (yeah.....definitely a meth house....let’s keep riding,…

there’s one of those danger playgrounds on Governor’s Island in NYC, too. the waiver is like 30 pages long, but totally worth it.

am I the only one who’s not getting her knickers in a twist over this? after about age 7 the boys and girls in my nabe would never be caught dead playing together. it was cootie central.