No. I’m sure someone wants different guards on different days to match their sneakers. I started that sentence as a joke, but I’m not sure anymore.

“They” are Trump and his cronies. That’s part of what’s wrong with everything right now. “They” don’t actually matter, “their” opinions mean nothing in this.

Same here.  Between all the narcissistic people constantly posting selfies, the useless food porn (eat the food instead of taking pictures of it), and the overall fuckery, I’m happy that I left it and haven’t looked back.

Exactly.  The fact that these are at price parity tells you the market has the Benz reliability figured out.  Oops.

Those words should be attached to the windshield of every used Mercedes.

Was there no planning ahead?

He holds the shove and makes 3 meek movements before giving up like someone who’s never had to work hard a day in his life.

It was only ever about the ceremony.  Nobody gave a shit about the actual tree.  Kind of like how people care more about the flag than what it stands for.

One more immigrant that has died in US custody. 

I guess ICE is responsible for holding horticultural immigrants too.

Interstate pileups are just group immunization parties

You mean to tell me all the food I eat comes from companies that ONLY profit if I get hungry? No thanks, I’ll just take some supplements I bought from an influencer

Counterpoint: Dressing nicely might score you a free upgrade (but very likely won’t), while dressing comfortably is a sure bet.

did you notice he's still trying to steer without wheels?

Deploy the chute. It's homeopathic.

Crash parties improve each vehicle's stopping abilities

If you have good bumpers you can neglect your brakes and count on the cars around you to provide "herd deceleration."

Brakes are such a scam, I mean, its not like you even need to stop all the time. Especially on the highway, you're car just moves the whole time. Why spend money on something you barely use?

Bumper sticker.