Our cowboys are hosted offsite.

Wait, are you calling Back to the Future "passable?"

If Coach Taylor doesn't care, I don't care.

See, I can't bring myself to care since Berg (well, with heavy lifting from Jasom Katims) brought us Friday Night Lights.

Can I have a junior western bacon chee? A JUNIOR western bacon chee!

I saw that same show in late '01. Goddamn that was a long time ago already.

I was hoping he was gonna tell me that Santiago died on the way back to his home planet.

Well played, clerks…

Helena Bonham Carter gives Depp a blowjob in the movie. I wondered if it was like eating a popsicle.

I had low expectations going in. That prologue gave me hope, along with the credits sequence set to the Moody Blues…but then the suck took over.

I've seen it. You are correct.

I didn't give the AV Club permission to use my picture for this story.

Was anyone else as comfortably familiar with the porn site and its premise that Brian mentioned as I was?

Hey, that's how many Days Of Summer there were!

It stinks!

Where did he tell that "Weird Al" story before? Wasn't it on The Nerdist Podcast?

I'm getting visions of a Scott Pilgrim-like shrug of indifference from moviegoers at large with this.

You can feel the Whedon at all times. Like @avclub-79f87276253209015fd9d4755ecee399:disqus mentioned above, it feels like a lost Buffy S4 episode…but that doesn't seem like such a great thing to me. Obviously I'm in the minority here, but the movie just didn't come together all the way for me.