just gonna put it out there that I have been SITTING DIRECTLY ON public toilet seats for my entire toileting life (okay, a few really really sketchy exceptions) and, miracle of miracles, I have never contracted any skeevies. I know everybody has their hang-ups, but srysly, germophobia is not one I've ever been able…

My dog does the same thing so we got her some Puppy pads for backup. She pees on the pads and shits in a neat circle around them.

Also, if you're that committed to a clean seat, just clean the seat! Oh my gosh, keep your own personal (and personally paid for) stash of wipes on hand so that you can sanitize the seat every fucking time if it's that important to you.

Ugggh I shared an apartment with three other girls and noticed that we went through toilet paper crazily fast. I mentioned something about it to them, and it turned out that not one, but TWO OF THEM were lining the seat with paper every time they went. In OUR OWN APARTMENT. And they both just said it, like it was…

Yeah. I'm calling exaggeration but not BS. The only reason I'm not calling BS is that one time while I was having sex with a guy I had a cyst burst. It caused this insanely intense amount of pain. I was hunched over almost screaming in pain, feeling like I'd been stabbed. When he pulled out, his penis was covered in…

There's been times when I have thought quietly, briefly, to myself, that maybe a staph infection in an accessible area, not too big of one, could be sort of satisfying just for it's popping potential. I am neither proud nor ashamed of this fact.

I hate you.

Aw, they're cuddling.

Yes. This us the only answer I will accept.

My mother-in-law sends us huge care boxes full of candy constantly, as soon as a package arrives I hide 1/3 of the candy before my kid and husband see it (it's for their own good, otherwise they mainline it all within a day and get pukey). Then another package arrives before I can finish the previous stash.

Sometimes…

I will never forget the bitter disappointment I felt as a 10 year old when I learned that Link was not Zelda (I thought Link on the front was a badass lady named Zelda). I played the entire game pretending Link was a girl.

My Best Neg: Dude told me on our date that he usually went out with much more attractive women, but wanted to see if he could learn to appreciate a woman for her other qualities, not her looks. XD

lol, that's actually kind of impressive.

How can a "candy stash" exist?? How is it not all eaten by now? I DO NOT understand

A guy negged me on OkCupid once. I knew he was negging and called him out on it. He claimed to not know what negging was and I fell for it. So his negging worked on me. :/

My god, I was also thinking "how could that happen? ridiculous" but you prompted me to check my super secret candy stash (it's like 2 security clearance levels above my regular hidden candy stash) and goddamn if there wasn't a single, gleaming, 6 month old maple sugar candy leaf perched atop that pile. Still sealed…

I just remembered I have a chunk of maple candy that I completely forgot about. I don't even know how that could happen.

I met a family of Turdburgers once. Horrible people. I think they were Bavarian.

Reading Amazon reviews has led me to the conclusion that some people thing 1 star=good and 5 stars=bad. So maybe this individual is just fundamentally confused about how the world works.

Sometimes people are beyond swearing and curse words. Like they don't DESERVE them. Sometimes the only thing that's right is an elementary school playground-style diss. And for those reasons I'm going to declare this fool...a turdburger.