I’m just going to remain perched here in front of my computer watching the fish puns stack up.

It did spawn on me that getting fish spunk on the sole of your bass weejuns is kind of crappie.

Ya know, I’m herring what you’re sayin’ but I just don’t get it...

I was checking out plastic sturgeons and somehow I wound up here? The wonders of the internet

Water you guyz talkin’ about ova here?

Keep it up, you’re on a roe!

He thought he’d try it just for the hallibut.

I’m just gonna leave this here.

Now I’m wondering too. If you find out what happened to that fish, let minnow.

I bet it smelt really bad.

It took me a minute of floundering, but bwahaha.

I’m sure it was just a fluke.

My greatest extremely-hypothetical fear is that wonderful brilliant aliens will find us and come for a visit to say hey ‘sup . . . and they will land in the back yard of one of these fucksticks. Who will promptly either dispatch them with a Remington 12-gauge, or will so thoroughly humiliate the entire species that…

Wikipedia and Google, whose contents are largely based in reality, are notorious for being what wingnuts refer to as “liberal.”

That is very compassionate, thank you. I sort of ignored the whole fact that she is a victim when I blacked out and saw red at what she was saying.

Honestly, this attitude is very common from people who have been assaulted. When I responded to hospital calls, they would spend a lot of time thinking and critiquing their own actions. It’s horrible to think, but it’s sometimes easier to blame yourself than to confront the reality that a gang of men decided to…

John Oliver, you are the only thing that takes the sting of Jon Stewart leaving. Please please be really happy at your awesome job.

controversial statement:

Psst... If you read their website it says all remaining money will be given to doctors without borders in the event the church closes.

This is my favorite quote.