Christ, my children continue to be such fucking disappointments.

Exactly! Everyone likes Leia. Give us more well written characters like her. People just want strong characters whether they’re female or male. They don’t want Disney to cast great actresses like Laura Dern and Gwendoline Christie and then waste them in underwritten roles, then discard them before they’ve done much of…

Yeah but there was no good reason for her silence. That’s literally the problem. It comes across as a plot contrivance, not a natural thing to do. Especially when Poe is begging her to at least assure them they’re not about to be destroyed when they could at least try something. Even the girl that helps Poe at one…

A few months ago I was listening to Comedy Bang Bang at work and a co-worker asked what I had laughed at. I said “a comedy... podcast... thing,” or something, because I don’t talk no good. He said, “What, like Joe Rogan?” and I stood there in confused silence. I didn’t want to offend any Rogan fans, but also didn’t…

The Jedi both planned and fought in a war wearing layers of flowing material. Princess Leia and Mon Mothma commanded Death Star attacks in pristine white gowns. People are running all over the damn place in Star Wars world in dresses. Of all the weird-ass corners people are poking in to get mad about Last Jedi, this…

But seriously, why is she wearing a long dress as a commander on a war ship?

Joe Rogan is the quintessential dumb guy’s idea of a smart guy. Kanye is (now) everybody’s idea of a dumb guy. This’ll go great.

You’re just playing the odds with that; everything’s shot in Vancouver.

I hear Character Actress Margo Martindale has been committing various felonies the past few years.

Apparently Cally from Battlestar Galactica was in this cult too.

This.  I would pay good money for this.

Maybe Celine Dion and Britney Spears (they at least had Vegas shows) can add giant robots and they call all battle it out.

It’s only a war crime if you lose the war.  Gaga doesn’t start wars she can’t win.  

I, for one, welcome our Mecha-Gaga overlords.

You’re thinking of recaps. Reviews are supposed to help you decide whether you want to watch it in the first place.

The real villain, of course, was Mayor McCheese all along.

We all thought Grimace was a sociopath too, but he changed his ways and became one of Ronald’s best friends.

He had a half assed, poorly thought out plan to save the universe by killing half of it. The plan entailed him killing lots of people (including his daughter) before he could even enact it. And it wouldn’t have really worked.

God bless us F-eryone!

An F! A glorious F! It’s a Christmas miracle! Thank you, St. Ignatiy! Thank you for the amount and depth of film and literary history to a pan of economics-driven filmic shovelware! I didn’t expect to learn about the provenance of Sherlock Holmes adaptations and original texts.