Twitter has forced me to become fluent in CHERish. I’m grateful for that.

Here’s why you’re wrong... (1/257)

Kat Von D’s eyeliner is great for this. It’s like using a calligraphy brush to put on eyeliner. You can get a good dupe from Jesse’s Girl that’s about $6-8 at Rite Aid.

Any American parent who would let their kid within a hundred yards of Putin right now should get their head checked.

All for a relationship that’ll be over by the end of the school year.

Right? I was trying to math how long it would have taken and it has to be like 200 hours if she spent 10 minutes on each page. This girl is in looooove.

Personal beliefs aside, that is an impressively thoughtful and work-intensive gift.

I am wedding planning for 2017 and I am also sick of these trends. I only get my period every 2 months so it’s been impossible for me to collect enough menstrual blood to make my signature cocktail. 

Hey, don’t worry about Barron. trumpy’s getting the kid an internship with Stern’s wackpack - he’s gonna be Barron the Rich Retard. It’ll be so funny!

I seem to recall the Obama girls being taken to task for various things, from “sulking” at events to “vacationing in Hawaii on our taxpayer dollars” to “smoking pot and going to rehab.”

YUP

Forgot a couple of White women:

I’ve called out so many people who didn’t vote, weirdly, they dont think theyre reasonable for this.

Huh. “A standard retard.”

Release the damn tapes before January 20 or hush, child.

The fact they’re already calling him a “king” is fucking terrifying. The Republican party seriously thinks they’ve finally destroyed democracy badly enough that it will never recover, and they couldn’t be happier about it. And somehow are presenting it as the patriotic position.

But the evangelicals would gladly stand beside Herr drumphf if it means war in the Middle East, so they will have a second coming of Jesus. At this rate they are going to be raptured all right, either by plagues, famine or nukes. And by rapture, I mean go past heaven, and directly straight to their coffin.

The main takeaway from this election: the bulk of Mormons genuinely believe the ethical redlines in their scriptures, the bulk of evangelicals are exactly the craven amoral fucknuts everyone else has always suspected.