So since divide by 2 and add 7 kind of breaks down when you reach this calcified muppet’s age, I propose a secondary check: Are you older than her mother.

Kidnappers: Alright Mr. Ecclestone, you have our price.
Bernie: I will not negotiate with kidnappers.
K: Fine, how about half?
B: You know my answer.
K: Ok, how about 2 Mil Euros?
B: Never.
K: ...how about a used Trailblazer; low mileage at least.
B: You’ll have to kill her.
K: I mean, that crazy. We weren’t going to kill…

...Andy Warhol’s rotting corpse...

...Aparecida Schunck, the mother of Eccelstone’s third wife Fabiana Flosi...

I can see it now. The real race will be to see which country has the fastest wire transfers and what nationality the first athlete being dumped out of a windowless van on the starting line is.

Imagine that convo with the trophy wife tho. He’s gna say it’s too much and she is going to say something about letting the crypt keeper bang her yada yada yada

I feel bad for the woman. My own MiL hated me for years. I wouldn’t have given pocket lint to get her back.

Generally speaking you pay to HAVE your mother-law kidnapped. Not pay to have her returned. Or so I’ve been told by like a million Dateline episodes.

Ah, Bernie is 85? That explains why he looks like Andy Warhol’s rotting corpse.

This seems like an odd route to take to try and raise the money to finish building the Olympic venues.

No problem, I’ll give you a heads up. She does have a sister named KandiKane that works just outside of Tampa. She’s a bit skeezy though, you could probably hook it up with an old Maserati Biturbo.

She works down at Wintergreen Zebra on the weekends. She told me she’s only dancing to put herself through law school and to help pay for her mom’s colitis treatment. She says that I’m different than all the other clients. As soon as I can scrape together the cash for a Maserati, we’re going to run off and start a…

I’ve told this one before but once my dad and I went car shopping for a second family car. We came home in a Pulsar and my Mom banned us from ever going car shopping together again.

It takes a brave man to put a license plate that says “RARE VAN” on his automobile. I would assume that people would use White Out, paint, or anything else they could think of to make it into the “RAPE VAN.” I’m juvenile enough that I’d do it once or twice.

Wow. And I thought it was bad when my wife used to reach over and beep the horn when I was driving.

Yeah, but they’d lose out on testing “Michigan Lefts”...

wikipedia tells me that Don Cherry’s brother’s name is Dick Cherry, and his wife’s name is Luba Cherry.

Now that the British have intentionally imploded their economy, it’s time to suss out how their dumb thing will affect the rest of us. It doesn’t look like it’ll cause the United States to break up or anything (some of us already tried that, it didn’t work), but it will hurt the American car industry, according to Bloo…

She could have yanked something nearby, you know.

1st Gear: