As Benjamin Franklin famously said, the only certainties in life are death and the fact that the underside of 70's Fiats will always look worse than the Titanic.

Its a handsome, Pininfarina designed, stick shift Italian roadster. Its a project car that’s less than $2,000, there’s nothing to be afraid of. Buy it, stash it away, pick away at it on a lazy weekend or afternoon, teach your son or daughter how to fall in love with building, restoring, driving, and just appreciating…

It’s a 70's Fiat, there IS something terribly wrong underneath.

Lagonda glares disapprovingly at your assessment of pop-ups on sedans.

Thank you to:

Limiting your children’s access to technology doesn’t make you a better parent, as your passive-aggressive comment is leading us to believe.

Movies? Why not put a queen size bed in the back and get busy with your woman!

“...for this Buñuel film of a campaign”

Yeah it’s not really like that at all here. Apart from on obvious inclines, I have seen about a .001% “use the parking break every time” rate. I sure as hell don't. The heavy readers of Jalopnik are no where near a normal sample of drivers.

Three teenagers in the back of a GTI? She Who Must Be Obeyed will have none of it.

Condom of cars?

YOU don’t need a big car. Maybe he does. Better yet, maybe he WANTS ONE.

Was it an attempt to keep people out of your den? Because if that was her goal, she's a smart cookie.

Thankfully, free market capitalism provides what people want, not what you think they need.

I’d rather be seen in it the way it sits now than in that #61 Stancy-Pants.

$5500's a bit steep for all the work it’s gonna need to make it a car anyone would want to be seen in.

It’s too easy in this country to get a mustang. These cars aren’t meant to drive, they’re for killing as many pedestrians as possible, we need stronger vetting to ensure these don’t fall into the hands of “mustang drivers....”

And just to prove their superiority they’re going to achieve all this with the entire motor, control and battery pack mounted behind the back axle....

When I have a $300k Ferrari, I’m not stopping at picking up just one hooker.

Obligatory Yakov Smirnoff reference: