It took three years just to teach her email. Baby steps.

And, in the case of these two shows, she'd be right.

I thought Brad Pitt was having sex with Helena Bonham Carter, but really it was John Saleeby having sex with Brad Pitt.

I predict Apple will say, "Yes, we can put a price on that."

JJ Steven, this is a Cease-And-Desist. The words "You're," "paying," "extra," "for," "that," "unique," and "experience" are registered trademarks of the Apple Corporation. Unfortunately, an apple is a fruit, plus the Beatles thought of it as a company name first, so you can keep saying that as much as you want.

Our new Natural-Viewing-System works by the user rubbing their ass all over the screen. Trust us, after a couple hours you'll wonder how you were ever able to use your eyes to see things.

Lobsters1 is Saleeby?! It all makes sense now. I feel like I'm a character at the end of an M. Night movie.

You mean something like the Republicans getting destroyed in the 1998 midterms and Newt Gingrich losing his job?

*remembers the Lewinsky affair*

For better or for worse, we will have a hipster president in our lifetime. Better to pull that band-aid off quick and get it over with.

That's a blast from the past, whatever happened to that crank?

If your cousin is saying that Mrs. Clinton is placing poop in his or her pants, you should really follow up on that. Seems like too specific a lie for a three-year-old.

Little known fact, Hillary is known on these boards as "Gentle Herpes".

It's the yoogest, most luxurious shit. The best.

It's the only logical explanation.

They're going to find a whole bunch of messages she posted to pirate bay saying "Don't download. Virus!" and then a bunch of people trying to explain what a false positive is.

Wait, this means she watches shows when they air? I'm not sure I can vote for someone that out-of-touch.

They won't really shit their pants until after they lose the election. And then they will rationalize that Hillary must have planted the shit in their pants.

Just wait till they find out that she torrented them.

Running for Comptroller. Bull-Moose party, I believe.