Google translate please.

Three couches?? That's a hell of a jump.

“Look at those scrawny, pasty fucks.”

You gotta admit, it feels GOOD to be patriotic. It’s okay to be patriotic, because these guys in the olympics are our people and they’re representing us. So a win for them is a win for all of us. Tom, you’re an olympic champion!!! You beat the russians! “Yulia Efimova can take her cheating-ass back to garbage Russia!…

I can't believe I'm saying this, but judo looks like it's freaking awesome.

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

“Is she THAT unlikable?”

“Don’t play baseball with the tigers.” - zookeeper, outside of the tiger exhibit

I’m 35 and I have no sense of amazement about it. Why are we supposed to be amazed?

You mean go ALMOST complete a 360. Then you can frolic and what not.

Why in the hell would they report on that? It's not nearly so juicy.

As a Braves fan, I say “no, no, thank you”. The Braves killed the Cardinals in that trade and Markakis is his replacement. Downgrade, sure, but not by much.

If you advance to a national championship, you root for your own team. You just made it to the national championship!

So in summary: you had to buy tickets, park a few blocks away, and WALK to the arena on streets being protected by law enforcement as you passed by conservatives who hold conservative values about abortion, and you saw some anti-gay street preachers.

Yes, we want to be British but with one caveat: straight teeth.

I actually think it would have been funnier (or just funny) (or maybe just not dumb) if it was a comparison to Eli Manning.

I'm assuming you did not attend Harvard.

But we live in America and we’re allowed to call things by a different name if we so desire. It's called a soccer field. Not a pitch. And the players aren't fit, they're healthy. And it's soccer, not football. Because we're not the same as other countries and that's totally fine.

The bag didn't have a concealed carry permit either. Big problems.

Yeah, we’re definitely going to need some more research on this story. As many have pointed out, the picture is a left foot and the video shows him rolling his right foot. PLUS the video is in the middle of the day. Game wasn’t over until like 10:00. You’re telling me he dvr’d the game and genuinely didn’t know they…