Hoyer had widespread support inside the locker room. No brainer according to players in there

Ronaldo has 2 UCL titles to Messi's 3, and soon to be 3 Ballon d'Ors to Messi's 4. Let's then consider that Messi's dominance coincided with him playing in front of the greatest midfield of all time. We're just now seeing what happens when Ronaldo plays with a midfield that consistently dominates possession, and it's…

Um, sure. My point was that, prior to the UCL Final, no sane person was naming Di Maria as Real's best player, because he wasn't. He outshone Ronaldo in the final, and all of a sudden it became the hip thing to label Di Maria as Real's best player. That is not to say he wasn't a fantastic player for Real last season,…

C'mon now. We here at Deadspin appreciate sage legal insight, and are always eager to welcome any lawyers willing to provide it. We have one guy, I guess you could think of him as our resident attorney, but he's a rather senile, incoherent fellow. Always rambling about First Amendment rights and shit.

+1

He's in what is essentially a dead heat with Messi (Ronaldo has 3 more goals, Messi has 2 more assists), until you factor in matches played (Messi has played 7 more than Ronaldo this calendar year). Ronaldo has maintained a goal per game strike rate for the year (!), with a better assist ratio to go along with it.…

He was crazy awesome during the 2013-2014 Premier League season, but this is a calendar year award. Getting himself suspended for the rest of the WC/beginning of this season derailed any hopes he had of winning it, or at least making it to Zurich (and he had some legitimately serious hopes). His calendar year stats…

A well crafted image doesn't mean he's not a dick.

Well, yeah, there are very few pro athletes that are hate-worthy. But many are hated nevertheless.

His image is more a product of his physical looks. He looks like a hobbit, so it's presumed that he has the personality of one.

The dude leads La Liga in assists. He missed one game this season (they lost), he came back and they've gone on an historic tear. Please, name a player who has been better in the last two years. And try and use some criteria other than "Waaaa, he uses hair gel, and I have bizarre, antiquated views on manhood, so boo…

Goals, assists, key passes, aerial duels, shots on target, pass %. Would you like him to defend and play goalkeeper as well? I'm actually curious. By what measure should he not win this award?

+1

I'm not doubting that these tips will enhance my dining experience, Albert. I just don't see how they're going to help shape my ass.

This statement is very true, if by last season you mean the UCL Final.

Barcelona players/management would often politic for Messi during his astonishing run from 2009-2012. Why shouldn't Real politic for Ronaldo? He's been the best player in the world for the past two seasons and is in the prime form of his career. Why not coddle him, if it means quelling any transfer rumors or discontent…

You should give a nod to RustyStrombone

The game did, however, end on a controversial note. In the bottom of the ninth, trailing by a run and with a man on second, the Hoppers' star player, Arthur Longstreet, came up to bat. He hit a light blooper just over the head of the shortstop, and the Hoppers man on second tore off hobbling for home plate. The throw…

So, one might say that the Maginot Line is sick and tired of the Germans' tanking going around it? Or, if one wanted to be more succinct, that it is sick and tired of the Germans' tanking? Point is, whether by going around it or by going through it, German tanks rendered the line useless. So the joke still works!

Yeah, it was probably WT Sherman. Gone with the Wind was pretty much about his rampage.