It’s the news we need, but a little late now! #SmashAStrawb campaign ??? Never saw that trending once on my social media feed. I could have traveled there and been one of the victims. This story should have been FRONT PAGE WORLD NEWS when it hit. 

I just don’t like that it reminds me of the white women who voted Trump then showed up to march in pussy hats. That is what I’m seeing here. I guess I’m triggered in that way. 

Guy cheats on his wife multiple times, gaslights her repeatedly, causes her to go insane and possibly relapse. While his ex-wife is in the middle of a mental breakdown because of his dishonest and cruel behavior to her, she tries to recapture her youth with a “sexy” rendition of national anthem. Everyone laughs, Jimmy…

Nobody likes her. Both sides won’t have her. She’s the Caitlyn Jenner of news. The two of them should team up and start their own show. Call it White Chicks. 

Megyn’s on her way out, according to my DailyMail sidebar (I kept seeing this “NBC bosses scramble to push her out” headline that I never clicked). She wanted to do a little Black Santa stunt to get her name back in the news. Black Santa made her a star, she was hoping Blackface would have similar results. The sequel…

A lot of older, unmarried creepy white guys who probably like Larry David are connecting with Cazzie David on Instagram. First Zach Braff posting heart eyes on her bikini shot, now John Mayer doing whatever this thing was. These douche guys were probably thinking, “I bet after what Pete did to her, she’ll be so…

I feel sorry for the woman who comes next, whoever she ends up being. Even though he only dated (erm, was engaged to) Ariana 5 months, he’s probably going to always compare every girlfriend after her to Ariana. “Ariana got me 5 minutes of screen time on SNL, you’re only getting me 2!”

I don’t know, Pete. Not sure if this will be a Whitney/Bobby back and forth like you are hoping. She might have skipped the long toxic relationship phase and headed straight to “Take 20 showers” phase of regret (thanks to her mother and brother Frankie, they seem to have guided her out of this quickly). 5 months was a…

13,000 children caged and traumatized, healthcare going away, women’s rights going away before we ever got them, Black Lives not mattering in the eyes of our government and armed officers, school funding being cut, ETC ETC ... and you’re worried that some diners will have their meal disrupted? Oh, for fuck’s sake.…

We needed this breakup. I feel for these two, but we needed this like we need air and water. These are desperate times in 2018.

Yep. She was just happy to be getting some good D at first. It was a cringe moment no doubt, but Pete took that cringe moment and turned it into a career (writing SNL bits and all!). Cazzie David played the breakup so cooly. I would have been acting the fool and I’m 10 years her senior. 

His response was fine. It backed up her initial interview. She was a normal, healthy person getting married to a man who used drugs and narcissism to treat his mental illness. It didn’t work. She was boring, he was a chore. 

Yeah, I do remember. I remember him going on Kelly Ripa’s show the next morning and them being super polite about it to him. Him saying, “Gotta be careful online, never know who it is you’re talking to!” and them having a good laugh about it. The child on Instagram was probably shamed and bullied. He moved on. That…

HE KNOWS WHO HE IS. *EVIL LAUGHTER* He’s actually chilled out lately so I won’t be a bitch, but back in the day his ass was in EVERY thread with “As a straight guy, I find it...” type comments.

When he said he would not write about the Kardashians again, that mofo meant it as he was already shopping his resume around at that time probably. BOBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Bobby’s goodbye was so quiet, I had to figure it out on my own. Bobby, I wanted you to write stupid gossip sheets until you became an old man — just keep going forever to comfort me like The SImpsons. When I said Ban Jezebel Man, I meant that ONE guy. Bring Bobby back and chain him to TMZ.com! He was supposed to be…

Eh. I’d do it for the money and experience. Just quit if it’s too much. 

Yeah, but we need silly (not mean-spirted) celebrity gossip to help us breathe in between reading other articles. Your work was theraputic, even Megyn secretly liked you and was stoked to meet you. We will miss your work here :( 

A few days away from this myself and I am JAZZED to breathe again soon. I will probably be bored for a few weeks without a built-in friend (more like built-in jackass!), but it will be nice to play guitar freely, cook for myself, fart, not be fighting with someone constantly, etc. CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU!!!!!!!!!

She wipes. She always wipes. And that just means what she’s wiping is extra juicy. Get back in there. Seen many crazy Insta lives from her, one with her in a hotel filled with Middle Eastern men (scary!).