What a weird way to make a comeback. Kim Kardashian gets robbed & goes into hiding, then Donald Trump, one of the worst people ever, becomes President-elect, so Paris Hilton outs herself as a supporter to make headlines again. The A-cups padded & pushed up to her chin is a nice touch. Oh yeah, THEN Paris Hilton pays…

Let’s be realistic: they probably were.

“Most” of your Trump supporter friends? Meaning, there are so many of them that you haven’t even had a chance to ask them yet?

She apologized though. She even called herself an asshole. Shit, that’s more than most people do around here. When I fall victim to the Jezebel dopile, I just close my laptop until the next day lol. That’s a real asshole move!

Are you mocking them for having a therapist and having shared that with us in past? If so, cool beans. Looks like you caught the post-election asshole bug too.

Ignore the dogpile (it’s my least fav part about commenting here—we’re all bound to be on receiving end of it). They’re probably just withdrawing. I KID, I KID. Come at me, folks!

Yeah, she’s rubbing it in. We got into the White House even though you tried to stop us with your truth telling! And she’s just as big of an asshole as her father. Just because she’s articulate & good at spinning doesn’t mean she’s not an asshole.

Oh, this just sucks. It really, really sucks, but it’s not surprising at all. I feel so sorry for the Khan family, the brave women who spoke out against the sexual assault, everyone who put it all on the line just to get slapped in the face.

He looks like Kim Kardashian did at the BET Awards and I fucking love it. Asshole!

I’m actually so glad I stopped drinking last year because my Franzia bill would have been really, really high and I would not have been able to afford all of these marijuana edibles that have kept me from going insane!

“Hi Megyn, we’ve been work friends for years and I hate to ask you for a favor, but it would help me so so so much. Can you please back me up in public on this Roger stuff? Your words would go a long way for me and other victims.”

Thank you for your reasonable commentary on cold sores. I have a cold sore right now and these comments about people living in great fear that they might *gasp* end up like me just made me stress enough to grow a new cold sore possibly! Y’all better back away before I infect you. *PUSHES GIANT LOLLIPOP ON EVERYONE*

She really does seem to love her dogs now. After Kim took over, they probably helped her (and still do!) during an emotionally crushing time. Remember she was known for leaving her dogs in her closet to die though?

Aw, thank you! :)

Let’s update our list! You can now add “I can’t see shit” to your “Ways to get away with rape” cheat sheet. Basically, anything you can come up with, add it to the list and it will probably work if you have a fancy lawyer backing you up.

It’s funny, but could do with a lot less James Franco. Should have called Dave Franco instead.

I am part of the solution by not expecting people (especially women) to be perfect at all times. I am part of the solution by giving people the benefit of the doubt that they are willing to grow if we don’t attack them and tear them down because, god forbid, they didn’t read articles after liking a song. WE ARE…

If Schumer truly believes that “Lemonade” is “one of the greatest pieces of art of our time,” you’d think that she would’ve read some of the wonderful work that came out after its release. Had she done so, she would’ve understood why this tribute rubbed so many people the wrong way.

I am anxious as well. We didn’t do any vows and made the ceremony less than 3minutes, then it was party time and the pressure was off. The scariest part was walking down the aisle for 5 seconds. That is all I had to survive.