So forced tea bagging isn't sexual assault? Interesting worldview.

So true, I can't believe I've found myself rooting for A-Rod in this saga.

Well done.

I feel like this has more to do with trying to convince Dwight Howard to stay, although I think they're better off without him.

Wasn't he just on a team filled with superstars? I really don't understand why the Lakers are so desperate for this guy to come back, he's a cancer and extremely overrated.

Honestly, I think it's because Dwight isn't good enough to command that much hate. Lebron is the best in the game, making his being a jackass that much more frustrating. If Dwight was the best player in the game, he'd probably get a lot more hate.

Don't forget the time you had to take to comment on it. Deadspin just has no respect for your time!

Let us know when and where your book reading is, dipshit.

You're not even allowing yourself to skip the dead space? I only have a few albums with those hidden tracks.

Yes! Women are the worst, amirite?

Ha, my thoughts exactly.

In which case, it is entirely possible that both are denying it, thus blaming the other. One of them isn't lying at all. Which is not scenario #1.

You're right, and I'm trying. I always regretted not enjoying Michael Jordan more when he was in his prime - I was too focused on hating him. Lebron is an even bigger douche, but he is incredible we may not see someone play like him for a long time.

Meh. Somehow I managed to not "die laughing."

Yeah, this was horribly written.

It's creepy, but it's absolutely not illegal.

That's pretty good.

Ugh.

That's not bad.

Wait, Hydrox existed first?! I always assumed it was a cheap imitation. This could be a game changer.