I did not have “the talk”, not once. The sexual education I had went like this:

So Kristen Stewart is....Taken?

#notallundertakers

I want to believe.

“One day, that could be me...!”

this fuckin guy

This guy is as mentally competent as any other cold-blooded killer. He was handed a combination of fear, hate, blame, and the means to turn it all into violence.

“Don’t be a victim” has got to be one of the dumbest, most enraging arguments ever. You’re already a victim, you can’t choose to be one or not; that choice was up to the person who victimized you.

Every time I would go to Barneys in BH, I would always stop on the 2nd floor to look at Lanvin stuff. I would turn the dress inside out to look at how it was made (also you can really tell the quality of a garment by how it was finished inside). The fabrics were stunning; no one else was using them at the time.

will you be my mommy?

I think this is likely the perfect encapsulation of their daily life: She smiles placidly while he spins in dizzy circles until he throws up and she has to put him down for a nap.

I would spend the whole day as a vet doing things like screaming “OMG PUPPY BELLEH OMNOMNOM” and smooching kitties until they take a swipe at me

We call it a War on Women precisely because assholes like you think forcing a woman to make a man wear birth control is preferable to giving her control over her own body after private consultation with her doctor.

Of course, he’s a guy who thinks we should protect our country by forcing other countries to wear our…

I can honestly say, if my mom had felt the need to abort me, I would understand and be OK with it. I know anti-choice activists like to snakily ask that “Well what if your mom had an abortion?” and my thought it, if she’d needed to, and did, fine, because I love her and would have wanted her to do what was best for…

Eye cream doesn’t make your forehead tight.

Brian Moylan’s on Vulture are always amazing.

This is what he normally wears:

It hides his control panel and/or his lizard neck

I guess you can read racism into anything. But you do realize that besides Kimmy, the only "positive" characters are non-white? Do you think Dong—who is an immigrant—shouldn't have broken english? Should Tittus be a boring accountant instead of a fun gay? The maid in the bunker cares so little about white people that…