Perry Como would be nice.

What about Gay Perry, Val Kilmer’s character in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang? He’d do a better job.

I actually looked at the Perry pages on Wikipedia, both “given name” and “surname.” For a name as common as Perry, there are shockingly few I recognized on either list, and you guys named just about all of them.

Or Perry White, and he was a fucking comic book character.

Perry the Platypus

Luke Perry? Linda Perry? Perry Farrell? Perry Como? There are many more qualified Perrys in the world. And not all of them are even alive.

Gaylord Perry, and he even knows a little something about grease.

Fake news!!

BREAKING: Meh Buys Bleh

He could have voted no by staying home. He’s coming back to vote yes.

Maybe get it yourself and then return with your ‘data’.

Herpes can be passed even with a condom.

Trump doesn’t give a shit about what nuns think. In his mind they’re all just broads who were too ugly to find a husband.

This is really putting a damper on my pitch for a new TV special called “Is Anderson Cooper Faster Than An Enraged Emu?”

Remember, folks, the ones acting pathologically in a deeply pathological situation are the normal ones. The ones acting in a deeply pathological situation as if things were entirely normal are the ones to watch.

Is that you, Wayne Gretzky?

Denali met with the dogs as part of a plan to help deal with the coyotes! I mean are we really going to bust balls when the coyotes eat both cats and dogs?!?

Sure, but it’s a tiny apartment, so you’ll have to settle for floor space: the cat has dibs on the bed, and the couch, aaaaand the chairs...

I remember this. If a cat has more than two colors in its coat, it’s almost always a female. Most gingers are males. :)