arent you weird

I’ve done a lot of cocaine (Although not any time recently) and gurl that is cocaine, don’t insult me. That looks exactly like two lines that you have dumped out of an almost empty bag and snorted looks like, it is a sight I have seen many times. The thicker portion in the middle, the spread out sides after you messed…

You picked the log, didn’t you? Do. Not. Sit. On. The. Log.

I feel like “feces infected scalpel” is way more specific than a hospital is going to get with a person after a case of medical malpractice/infection you get at a hospital.

Alcohol has calories. Coke doesn’t.

I feel like the fact that there is a person known nationally as “hot convict” should be included as an early predictor of Trump winning the 2016 election in future textbooks.

“STICK TO SPORTS!1!!1!!!!!”

One of my staff is a woman who I’m pretty sure is pregnant, but I still recommended an above average pay increase for her to the exec this week because she simply deserves it.

My son is a high quality person

Pretty sure “women problems” is not, indeed, a buzzword.

Too bad; she was great at the weird alien looks of high fashion. Not a girl next door; not a child of the rich n famous turned Insta-celeb, but a real interesting (in a baby-doll way) looking model that had presence.

Hottest of Taeks: Don Junior is a fucking moron.

Fun fact: a girl gave birth to Jesus.

if that’s you “playing along” then you should definitely get better at “playing along” because you’re very bad at “playing along”

Nevertheless, pregnant employees would probably at the very least prefer being able to inform their boss on their own clock.

lol k buddy

I read Spanish, so I was able to translate the following paragraph in the linked article, which contains updated information:

omg this is the greatest instance of missing the joke I’ve ever seen