i will return any hug freely given, but i will initiate exactly zero.

I’ve been a stupid bitch my whole life.

This once again gives me an opportunity to post the greatest moment in TV history... the day Cookie Monster went on Martha Stewart in two clearly unscripted segments and she had absolutely no idea what she was in for. Part 2 is even funnier than part 1.

Is there not a single director in the world who realizes that a few pumps with no foreplay does not instantly equal a huge orgasm for most women?

Kardashian homes: staged to perfection and utterly devoid of warmth and personality. How appropriate. I will say that I am seriously coveting Kourtney’s Pierre Jeanneret chairs, however. In my fantasy life I own one. Just one. Between those in her office and dining room, she spent enough to buy a house in many parts…

Sadly those were two fights that we never should have had to fight in the first place!