I just can't believe someone took a Compass off road.

I'll bet it drives like a sports car...

Man... I used to have a '98 ES in Alpine Green. I actually got a lot of compliments on that color, but that was back in the late '90s. I really liked that car- good power for the time, and the Auto Stick was fun for about two weeks when I first got it. Eventually the A/C died and it developed the inevitable…

Ford Medium Lime Yellow, as seen on a Mustang II. It is exactly the color of despair, especially with the dark green vinyl roof.

Hear, hear. M&Ms are little candy-coated chocolate time bombs just waiting to screw up your upholstery.

She just hasn't moved down here yet. (sigh)

Do you need the car to be a daily driver? The Datsun would be a great second/third/easy project car, but I'd be a little leery using it for my primary transportation.

'80's grey-market 6-series BMW hacked up by a Florida-based company best known for Eldorado convertibles, served up on Craigslist with no pictures of the top up and looking like a Boy Scout Jamboree with the top down? Is $10k enough?

Look for something with a resonator to deepen the exhaust note- Magnaflow makes some great exhausts that don't sound "ricey" at all.

Hank Moody would beg to differ...

Wipers? Really? Anyone who would drive a Pantera in the rain is clinically insane anyway. I'm going to go with a conditional Nice Price on this one- dependent on the ratio of steel to Bondo in the body and how badly the mice have had their way with the interior.

A good catback exhaust. You may or may not pick up a little power, but the ear candy is really what you're buying here. A set of good summer performance tires is a close second, especially if you live in an area where you can run them year-round.

Graverobber, in the interest of political equilibrium we'd better have the Obama/Biden Chrysler 300 on here tomorrow.

Aren't these standard equipment on the EXT?

Ten minutes with a blow dryer and a plastic scraper should take care of that nicely.

Mazda should definitely be casting about for new partnerships. In an ideal world, they should be able to make it on their own by selling unique and fun-to-drive products to the masses of customers who would be lining up to buy such oddities as really sporty minivans and small cars that don't suck, but this is not an…

Yeah, but if it was any good, the hipsters wouldn't want it. It's the irony that sells this one...

Way to pop that bubble, dude. I'm going to be over here in the corner now, sulking.

Jeezus. Who would pick a Festiva as the starting point for all this work? Nice price, I guess...

They're kind of like snow drifts, only hotter.