Honestly, Deadspin’s manifesto is “ESPN is shit - until they write a poorly-sourced column that makes the Patriots look bad.”

Your mom enjoys a Dirty Grampa, if you know what I mean...

I find it - interesting, let’s say - that Deadspin spends tons of bandwidth (justifiably) shitting all over ESPN for considerable flaws. Yet, as soon as said network reports dubiously-sourced negative gossipy stories about the Patriots, they are lapped up as gospel.

Sam Darnold looks like a flabalanche.

I always liked believing this was the true version of events:

It’s a fucking football game you’re retarded piece of shit.

Motherfucker, you ruined this guy’s life, you fat piece of shit.

I think it’s been widely intimated that Jennifer Lawrence looked at coming back to do Mystique as a chore.

It’s company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article, “a dildo”, never … your dildo.

I’m totally in suspense, now. You guys only told part of the story! WHAT WAS HER SCORE?!?

Yeah, he can eat a bag of shit, AFAIC. His grandstanding is big reason why we’re here. Comey saw one final opening for ratfucking Hillary for which he’d waited 20 years, and he took it.

When I first saw Manhattan, I was a college freshman in the eighties, and even then, I thought Isaac is fucking gross. I have never, ever understood the appeal of that movie, or why we should have any sympathy for the lead character.

Guess you’ve never read about “Casablanca”, eh?

I think this is a pretty good critique of the flaws within Zack Snyder’s body of work.

No kidding. I’m a Bruins fan, so watching a Weinstein vs Cameron fist fight is like watching a Canadiens vs Canucks hockey game. I root for lots, and lots of injuries.

Gordon Banks.

Wow. I just looked it up, and Hader is accurate to a frightening degree.

Shorter BarackaObama: