Laughed out loud at my desk. Goddammit all.
TwoFishFlavors
jayfiedlersbrokenthumb
“ Put on a show while I go fill your mom with dick nectar”
Welcome back to Behind Closed Ovens, where we take a look at the best and strangest stories from inside the food…
We asked for your nightmare tales of startup employment. Did you ever deliver—sending narratives of woe, scams,…
The people at Gawker did a hell of a thing when they hired Greg Howard to write for them, and I am sure I’m not the only one who is thankful they did.
It’s easy to think that the field of parking lot-inspired dickshittery is stagnating. What real innovations have you…
ESPN’s Baxter Holmes has a long, thoroughly entertaining piece about the lifecycle of an NBA basketball, pegged to…
I wrote for the Wolves from 2011-2013. Kirilenko was awesome. First of all, his crazy kids were always running around, trolling everyone in sight. They would pester Pek especially. Then, one day, I asked if they spoke the same language as Pek, and Kirilenko got pissed. “NO. He speaks Serbian. We speak Russian. VERY…
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As it turns out, the way you stop Allen Iverson is with cheap domestic beer and a good divorce lawyer. Journalist…
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Fallout is back, and, as expected, it’s headed to post-apocalyptic Boston. You can watch the first (great) trailer…
All those killer specs and you use it to do what? Browse Facebook all day? I have the iPhone 6. My Android friends love to brag about how superior their Android phone is to my iPhone, but I have yet to see any of them outdo my uses with their “superior” phones.
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Here’s an ad featuring Marlins first baseman Michael Morse promoting the “Fish ‘N Chips Casino Party,” where “me and…
This Dodge Challenger Hellcat was spared from a tornado that completely destroyed everything around it. That or we…
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I had an ‘89 Riviera, the last year with that dash and CRT-based touchscreen. By the time I got the car in 2005, it had been beaten down, picked up, and beaten down again. It had 194,000 miles, body damage, and all the marks and stains of a hard life. But by some miracle, that screen had survived 16 years of…
Two weeks ago, I started wearing an Apple Watch. I’ve come to a conclusion: I just paid hundreds of dollars to be a…
We asked for your worst stories of working IT phone support — and boy, did you ever answer our call. You have the…
Telephones! For talking! They’re terrible, antiquated technology I hope we abandon someday to psychic brain…
We asked for your best IT and computer-based revenge pranks — you answered. You are all a bunch of brilliant…
I never, I mean never, ever ever ever, it’s my golden rule, never ever let anyone know how easy a fix is. Never ever. They take that shit for granted.
We asked for the worst stories you had about working in IT. You rose to the challenge and then some. We may need…