probably should have googled whether or not he has in fact died. he has not, but I assure you death will come for him

“The human body is like a battery, with a finite amount of energy, which exercise only depleted.”

Sushi with fried bits in it is more Murica’ than a Camaro IROC with a 2 liter of Mountain Dew and a greasy mullet.

Pffftttt. I didn’t spend countless days pirating music on dial-up Internet only to have some fancy “Institute” tell me my favourite file extension is dead.

Boy, the K-Car people are a little crazy this year.

if you can’t get down with this

any tips for ‘i could run 10+ miles without a break 4 months ago, but 3 months ago we had a kid and now im so bone-weary exhausted all the time that i can’t run 2 miles without walking even tho i am running regularly’?

Easy, eliminate the cap on income that the FICA tax is applied to. Right now, any income over $118,500 isn’t taxed for social security. That should completely fund SS at 100% for everyone and no means testing will ever be required.

Great now I don’t believe in climate change or the earth being round.

My great grandad is 105 and is still doing porn

Hey now, my 94-year-old grandpa can do a whole bunch of jumps off hills on an ATV.

Does the suicide trick work for library fines, too?

If there’s a god, this means that the Mets’ Brief Ryan Howard Experiment is just starting...

He’s basically a toned down version of Russell Westbrook. Like if someone gave Russ a handful of ADHD medication.

Matt Harvey’s next start

This should really boost his Yards after Catch numbers.

“Fuck Bitches Get Money” if I remember correctly (I’m not going back to periodic table to confirm)

So the “escapees” risk extending their sentences, possibly indefinitely, just to return to prison less than four hours later?

I'm calling you Universal Enveloping Fucking Algebra from now on.