ZECOND PLACE IZ THE FIRZT LOZER

Coutinho just wants to escape into Messi’s shadow.

“Have you ever shot that shot?”

I bet his favourite Martin Scorsese film is “Goodfellows.”

With the white uniforms amid the snow and ice it looks like Team Canada is wearing camouflage.

Wide right.

Socialism in the United States is real, but only for the rich.

If Obi-Wan didn’t recognize the droids he was constantly around in the prequels, it would have been appropriate if Luke didn’t recognize R2D2 in The Last Jedi.

We’re the aliens man.

All that effort and he fucks up with the low top sneakers.

Kris Draper, Kirk Maltby and Darren McCarty. What a bunch of beauties.

“Pop That”. There’s a reason why I go by this Kinja handle.

Gareth Bale injured his calf muscle again watching that clip. He will be out for the next 6 months.

“I groped Mark McGwire’s butt muscle when I injected him with steroids and he never complained that he was molested.”

Tony Kornheiser’s shrill mezzo-contralto shouting about the Knicks has a way of soothing my soul. It’s like auratic Ambien.

I do the exact same thing but with PTI on the couch instead of NPR in bed.

In the future, if someone asks if they would work on a project with Kevin Spacey the only correct answer is to say no, he shouldn’t be acting he should be in prison. 

Once Gareth Bale comes back from the infirmary, this will inspire Ronaldo to start banging in league goals so that he could ignore Bale while celebrating.

This explains Charles Smith against the Bulls in 93.

While “I had to demean myself with Ralph in order to get closure with you” is not an Al Pacino line in Heat, it nonetheless remains the greatest Good-Bad line in the history of cinema.