Or start building tracks like Mario Kart’s Rainbow Road.

I’m nowhere near kids but am starting to find my small sedan kind of cramped for sporting gear and construction projects (with a 4x8' sheet of anything on the roof I feel like I’ll take off at any moment). Someone suggested one of these last week and I’ll admit, my interest is piqued. Much as I like carving corners,…

Well are we going to get started on this series of puns or are we just going to sit around and planet?

My girlfriend once told me that within 2 minutes of meeting people I managed to casually slip into the conversation that I run. I’ve really worked on quashing that impulse, but will admit I probably subconsciously still do some just as obnoxious thing.

I cannot for the life of me find good pictures of the police cars from The Island but they were everything I wished the Chrysler 300 actually was. I was kind of surprised nobody made after-market taillight conversions (again, can’t find pictures of the back of one but I remember them looking really cool).

I like the spirit of this thing. What I think stands out the most is that it has an identity. Few cars get (rightly so) the anthropomorphized treatment. Even the most impressive of cars and builds are treated as testaments to a builder’s skill, talent, style, or engineering prowess. They exist as machines. That’s what…

What on earth is that? It is the most oddly charming thing I’ve ever seen.

The worst!

The only way the head-first T-shirt thing works is if your T-shirt is way too baggy to begin with. I’m a scrawny, lanky dude and if I want to wear a T-shirt that looks like it belongs to me, there’s no way I can get my arms into it once my head is in there. The geometry just doesn’t work. Once the head is in, there’s…

You don’t need sliding doors. You just need more doors.

“I want you do design a car inside out. Like a sea cucumber. I want the engine, seats, dashboard...all of it on the OUTSIDE. Put the wheels and paint and exterior bits inside. Inside out. Just do it.” - Chris Bangle

I read the entire Alex Trebek bit in the SNL Sean Connery voice.

Day drinking really only works well if you’re being active. Building some crooked deck furniture? Hiking around in the woods? Back yard games? Moving around and sweating the beers out or keeping your metabolism up as you’re drinking will keep that gross foamy, beer-sloshy feeling out of your stomach, which is the…

Housemates’ dog ate a Duraflame fire starter log. Threw it up not 45 minutes later and went about her day.

I have an irrational fear of tape-measurers, though I use them quite often. I cut myself on the edge of one that was reeling back in when I was 5 or 6 and they still make my 29 year-old self jittery.

I thought for a brief second that this might be John Voight’s Chrysler LeBaron.

Are these square and round plates paper? That makes a difference. If you’re standing around at a party and shoveling guac into your face with a tortilla chip so you can get on that mac and cheese next, you want a round plate. The round plate will hold the weight of said guac and mac and cheese because the lip around…

I don’t have kids, but I worked my way through college as a detailer at a dealer. Digging melted jolly-ranchers and skittles out of the cup holders of Toyota Siennas was pretty miserable. Forgotten raisins (maybe raisins?) rotting and growing some funk between and under the seats are pretty rad. Also, Red #5 cannot be…

Reminds me of...

My current car (08 Suzuki SX4 Sedan) is the best and also the worst. If I could go back to the time I bought it, I would have tried to be a little more selective (it was a purchase of opportunity and credit-building). It is the best in that it is the most reliable, efficient and sensible vehicle I’ve ever personally…