This is pretty standard stuff. Gotta burn through those vacation and sick days before you leave your employer

My son can wear whatever he wants while making $330 mill

Matthews and a few of his buddies left his condo complex around 11 p.m. on the evening of May 25, 2019.

The commentariate here would have lost their damn mind if Deadspin posted this inside a woman’s locker room, showing a nude woman’s team of any kind. Seriously, what the hell? Going to start posting a bunch of nip slips to go with your LeBron dick pics from him adjusting his shorts in a game and crap like this out of…

The really sad thing is he had that “my email address is hashtag I don’t care” so locked and loaded and ready to that it is clear it was a line he thought about and prepared and was waiting to throw out there, and it is just so so terrible. 

A plastic bag of styrofoam cups is also Alex Smith’s new tibia.

An inexperienced coach needs a reliable brain trust around him.

In defense of the Cowboys (and the rest of the NFL)...

Miami THOUGHT they had their tanking game down. Giants are playing a whole other sport!

i did a dumb and got hurt and it's everyone's fault but mine!

Awww I love the headlight flashes when that guy crossed the finish line ~50:40. IT’S A REAL CAR DAMMIT

I can’t believe the Patriots went to all this trouble to beat the Dolphins.

Imagine growing up with that name as a kid, talk about a soggy dream.

They’re both due for a beaning next time they are in St. Louis.  

The 13 fans in attendance were stoked.

Ah, the fake kneel. That’s the move elderly or overweight Catholics do at church where they just scoot their ass a little closer to the edge of the pew so they don’t have to struggle to get back up.

I’m starting to think there’s something wrong with this guy. 

My favorite Elwayism in this article:

*Closes laptop thoughtfully, wipes away a tear, considers life for a moment, reopens laptop, types away furiously*

Vázquez then told police that he and the victim had “sex but not really.”