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“What kind of things do you like me to do with you body?” Jeb said as I looked over the contract. “Do you like it when I keep it from healthcare?” Oh my. My inner goddess screams YES but I blush.

Ok, what are everyone’s hopes for the characters? Here are mine:

I know, right?? How was basically nothing on camera distracting?

Flipped through the video fully expecting to see titties bustin’ out all over

A few years ago I found my iPod that had been missing since I was 16

I think all too often medical professionals write off poor people in pain as drug seekers.

Except you’re not really “damned if you do” because it’s your job to do a thorough and appropriate examination (and also federal law). Weigh the consequences of treating her vs. not treating her, too.

It’s possible they did a thorough and appropriate examination here, and that an appropriate examination didn’t reveal

I know a Quin Noah. Close enough?

aww fuck.

But, you see, he can’t have real consequences. He’s allergic.

In trial, Fogle reportedly sobbed as he recounted how he’d hurt his family and his wife, who would be a single mother should he go to prison.

For what it is worth, this guy is a lawyer.

Remember kids: Black Lives Matter is a bunch of whiners who are looking for reasons to be offended. The real oppression is a lack of Christmas iconography on your coffee cups.

Who is he kidding, kids at that age do not want to hang out with their parents.

“Was that so hard?” = “The situation has been resolved to my satisfaction, but I’d still like to start a fight about it.”

Not wearing the prescribed magic underwear?

Somewhere in Pittsburgh, Kelly and Christi are cackling loudly over a five-cocktail lunch.

I used to comment regularly on Jezebel for years (under a different name) and stopped because of the feeling the author describes when someone she assumed would be an ally made her feel unwelcome.

My immediate thought: