What a strange little brand bitch you are.

“that failed to past muster”

Pass muster. Pass.

This article opens by calling it ‘the best in the series,’ which is possibly the most inane thing that’s ever been said. Quick: name the villian of this movie. Did you say ‘some Italian guy?’ Exactly.

John Wick went off the rails by not ending when Willem Dafoe dies. It’s the perfect sequel hook with a villain you have…

The John Wick movies have already done the work of cheapening and ruining the John Wick franchise. The show is just the cherry on top. (I mean John Wick 2 is fucking dogshit).

My issue is that I don’t consider him smart enough to understand, much less want to play, that kind of board game.

I take it you never played the reboot games? They’re infamous (even more than the original games) for their countless brutal and graphic fail-state cut scenes that lovingly and downright pornographically document Lara dying over and over and over and over again in hideous ways.

It’s pretty grotesque, and the main…

Oh good, now we can have Female Snuff Porn: The Animated Series.

“Star Wars was a mess before (Marcia) Lucas, Hirsch, and Chew got their hands on it, too”

That’s a myth.

Real important question I never see answered:

Who wakes up in the morning and goes ‘I’m going to go get my news from IGN?”

I have never known anyone, at any time, for whom IGN was their news source - and yet there it remains. Who are these people?

It is baffling nonsense. While it certainly didn’t affect their box office and I know I’m in the minorty, the Wick films went to shit because of how goofy and stupid it’s ‘lore’ got.

By the time John Wick is standing the desert hanging out with some dudes who raided a Spirit Halloween shop for discontinued Arab Shiek…

Hear hear!

“a world that felt, for the time, unique and different.”

HArd disagree. ‘Racist Vikings’ was neither unique nor interesting even when Skyrim launched. It was always the same generic, less interesting world that Oblivion had.

Yes.

Because what they believe is fact, not politics. When their enemies do it, it is politics.

The Telltales games made me go back to Fables.

And re-reading Fables reminded me why I stopped reading fucking Fables.

The moment where the comic stops and the Big Bad Wolf turns directly to camera and explains to the audience about his unwavering support for the permanent war-footing of the State of Israel is...

Hey,…

I had to stop watching a Youtube video the other day because it referred to Christopher Plummer as ‘this dude who was in Knives Out’ and treated Crispen Glover’s filmography as a novelty its audience would be unfamiliar with.

It is absolutely the hardware if you’re me and are running an intel-chip machine that was near-useless six months after I bought it and has only gotten worse over time.

The musical, after a rough start, ended up being a smash hit whose surprise viral TikTok popularity carried it over Covid and the shutdown, so people going ‘why in 2023' are really just not paying attention to the wider world: teens fucking love Beetlejuice. This is about as best a time for a Beetlejuice sequel as…

Absolutely fucking not, go to hell, Apple.

I can’t even run games well on your computer why do you think I’d trust you with your shitty, twee phones?

“the ubiquitous American flags becoming a symbol of dogged support of carnage abroad as opposed to unity.”

I don’t know how to state this less blunty, but it was a synbol of carnage abroad before 9/11—to the point that you can directly link 9/11 to, y’know, decades of brutal American foreign policy abroad abetted by…

“Starfield has saminess problems because it uses procedural generation” is kind of a weird take, why are we not saying “Starfield’s procedural generation is not very good.”

I lost enough of my life to Dwarf Fortress and Minecraft and heck, sometimes even NMS to know that saminess in content is down to having poor…