Don’t you remember? He and David Letterman are taking time off to spend more time with Steve Martin’s kids!

Y’know - so they don’t grow up weird?

There we go.

“Maybe I’ll pick up a copy of Dragonriders of Pern too. Sounds like it’ll be right up my alley.”

You say that of a series I openly called out as misogynistic. “Sounds right up my alley.” If you say so. Enjoy the ‘rape turns men gay’ and the ‘you need to hit women in order to stop them from being hysterical’ -I suppose,…

Sugary cardboard!

No, I think lazy, sexist writing by hacks should be taken seriously - you obviously are taking them seriously, otherwise you wouldn’t feel the need to stand up for them, much less employ the ‘please don’t take them seriously in a critical way because I can’t abide the though of thinking about the thing I am enjoying’…

When I got my kindle some years ago I filled it up with R.A. Salvatore books I got off the back of an internet truck: all thirty or forty-odd books in his sprawling series and eagerly dove in, eager to see how well they held-up from my youth.

I gave up after managing to claw my way through the Crystal Shard - because…

That’s an extremely bad comparison, though, because The Holiday Special more than adequately prepares you for Rise of Skywalker - they both baffling, incoherent dumpster-fires, and watching the former honestly will give you just about everything you need to understand the later i.e. hollow, masturbatory fan wankery.

It’s also just a lousier game overall - a better combat system wired to a dumber story with less-interesting villains and a tedious repetition of enemies. The ending of ME3 gets a lot of flack - and it should, as its choices are all morally reprehensible and not in keeping with the philosophy of the previous 100 hours…

Yeah, seeing the RIAA stand up for the little guy is the best joke I’ve seen in ages.

I mean I talk a big game but it’s not like I know a goddamn thing about queer cinema in a timely fashion until a Yotuber I likes makes a video about it, saving me the time of having to watch it. I’m an internet commentor - all I can do is make snarky comebacks I forget I wrote.

Probably the piggy bank with a pig’s body and Brian Mulroney’s head.

The best advice I can give about Crusader Kings games is that the people out there who play to ‘win’ tend to be humourless and tedious lot: play to experience. You will find successes. You will find failures. You will find lives cut frustratingly short, and others agonizingly prolonged. Take it all for the experience…

I’m really, really sorry to hear that the first movie your gay ass has been excited about since 1997 is the 101 Dalmatians prequel. It sucks to hear that the last quarter-century of queer cinema either went under your radar or simply wasn’t to your tastes, but either-way, have you considered that perhaps you’re just…

Enjoy the influx of desperate Corporate White Knights explaining to you that, while they know corporations aren’t their friend, you should nevertheless roll over for them at every opportunity because that’s the moral thing to do. Software piracy is the worst possible crime of all.

I miss him so much.

Ah, I see.

Raise your hand if this is the first time you have ever heard of six-season-running television programme Bull.

I couldn’t name a Jay-Z song, it’s not a style of music I like. I could equally fail to name any song off the Country and Western top 40 list for the past thirty years (though I suppose if I just said ‘Truck’ or listed random Johnny Cash songs I’d probably get lucky at some point).

What’s this supposed to prove about…

Exactly! It makes the resistance look like utter idiots because they took a look as this kid who is clearly useless to everyone and when ‘hey I just had a great idea!”

The Young Jedi series is sitting right there, for pity’s sake - scraping off the EU-bits that no longer work, but if you want a series about a bumbling…

Oh it’s not the bumbling that bothers me, it’s that In the opening twenty-minutes of the film Obi-Wan commits a war crime and the film acts like that was really clever of him instead of, y’know, horrible. The bumbling matters less than the fact that his tactics are openly, incomprehensibly stupid, and i say this as…