Last week’s premiere of Star Wars Resistance picked up right where things left off at the end of season one, but didn’t answer the show’s biggest lingering question: “Is anyone other than internet reviewers and four-year-olds watching this show?”

That’s true. But your family would watch you watch it. They’ll watch you watch it, and they’ll look at one another, and they’ll shake their heads sadly and agree that Something Must Be Done and they can’t Put This Off Any Longer no matter how much They Have Hoped.

“Police say he gained access to Valve HQ through a “non-functioning stairwell door”, and was able to steal the games and equipment from the 11th floor of the building, one of nine occupied by the company.”

Door sounds pretty functional to me.

They really don’t, which is why I don’t feel bad about not supporting them to watch the show they won’t let me watch.

(Sorry, Bee and Puppycat, but this is the second time in a row you’ve moved to a US-only streaming service. In the era of Spoilers Within Hours you honestly expect the rest of the world to just... wait…

Dune was one of my favourite movies as a kid.

I have no memory of this scene.

For the record, I believe the first movie I saw in theatres ever was A Muppet Christmas Carol, a stone-cold classic.

As opposed to, say, Boba Fett and his oh-so-vital 6 minutes 32 seconds of screen time?

Amazon Prime isn’t free.

You have to purchase Amazon Prime.

First movie that I saw in the theatres and hated while I was watching it.”

“that I hated” might have been stronger phrasing.

It is the fist movie - I would have been nine or ten - that I saw in the theatres and hated while I was watching it. This would have been not long after the first time I watched a movie generally and hated it while I was watching it (Hocus Pocus, with those loathsome, shit-eating kids I was supposed to think were cool…

“which is out now on PC and the Apple Arcade” BUT NOT THE FUCKING APPLE COMPUTER

“Unfortunately, the team can’t just pull the device out and start again elsewhere; the probe is a one-and-done deal, as it’s unable to move in reverse.”

That’s insane to me. At what point in the design process did they decide to move forward on the assumption ‘yeah there won’t ever be a reason we might have to make an…

Either way, just like Game of Thrones the series will start strong and end up in the toilet as the quality of the source material plummets into sewage.

The Golden Compass is one of the best YA books ever written. The Amber Spyglass isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.

I can’t prove it, but I’m pretty sure ever word used in those sentences is a racial slur somewhere.

This headline made me throw up in my mouth. I have been viscerally disgusted by the very idea of melted ice-cream since childhood. I cannot be alone in this weird hangup.

“this 2006 film doesn’t quite nail the essence of Superman”

What the literal hell are you talking about this movie better nails Superman than any other in the last 20 years - this movie certainly has valid critiques (overly-long, weird pacing issues, the climax kind of spins its wheels) but saying Superman Returns…

I don’t know anyone who watched it besides the guy who writes this review article.

I bailed after two episodes demonstrated this show was being made for a pre-verbal audience.

Planet Zoo, a new PC game from Frontier, the makers of Planet Coaster that other game that is also an homage to the multi-faceted Tycoon series of the late 90s/early2000s seriously are we just going to pretend that Zoo Tycoon doesn’t exist? The last entry in the series was 2017 these games do not exist in a vacuum!

Thing: Origins

There’s no better place to hide something in a show nobody watched or liked.